Keeping a record of all the times you're wrong?

[.Poppy.]

I'm currently doing (or trying to do) online CBT with the help of my therapist. It's slow going, which is probably the nature of the beast. Even with rationalization, it's hard not to panic. I'm also on meds (Lexapro & Clonazapam).

Anyway, I had a post recently about my dog and taking him to a new vet. She said she'd give me a call, asked for my number on Wednesday of last week and never called. I was very, very anxious about it. It wasn't on my mind 24/7 like some things, but it was a concern. I felt like maybe she decided we were too much work for her or that there was something wrong with what I'd been saying. I was afraid I'd have to call her, which I would have done, but was scared to do so.

Then, Saturday, she called. She was incredibly nice, just been busy (life of a vet!). We talked about him, she said nothing I said was worrying and that they dealt with reactive dogs all the time. She gave me lots of options to make him feel more comfortable, take it slow, etc.

So, I was wrong. And I realized there are a lot of times that I am wrong - I mean, anxiety does mess up your thought process.

SO, I wondered if it is a good thing to keep a journal of all of my fears, and then update those entries with an "outcome" to see how many times I'm really anxious about something and it ends up being unfounded. I wondered if this would be similar, or a start, to challenging my thoughts? Ideas? I don't want it to become an exercise in, "well, Poppy, you're always wrong so you must be stupid" as I have low self esteem too, but thought it might be helpful to have a record of times when I was all worked up and it was "just" the anxiety, that there wasn't really any basis.

Granted, a lot of my current health-related fears may never have a clear "outcome" and in my present state of mind I think any clear or quick outcome will be negative or else it will just be something I always fear is lurking around the corner. But maybe it will help.

Ideas?

[wabbit1]

I wouldn't say you were wrong. I'd say you were incredibly caring and wanted to make sure the dog was ok, didn't want him to be unhappy. The vet has done years of training as well as dealing with hundreds of dogs in her career so she is more knowledgable in this than you are, that's completely natural. If we all knew everything about everything then there would be no need for vets, doctors, etc. I don't think you did anything other people wouldn't have done.

Instead of making a list of things were you perceive you were wrong, why not look at things that caused you anxiety and then look at the outcome.

I am a teacher and I spend my entire day trying to convince people it's ok to be wrong, because it means you've tried. What's important is not letting it stop you from trying again.

[Fishmanpa]

Wabbit has a point. It might be more reassuring and a positive reinforcement to list all the times you were actually "right" about a fear or worry. I have the feeling that list would short to non-existent

Positive thoughts

[.Poppy.]

Thanks for the input. I'm afraid of the outcome actually if I was ever actually right about something, but you may be right - the list may not be very long!

The vet example kind of went like this:
FEAR: That the vet won't ever call or that she thinks my dog is beyond help.
OUTCOME: The vet did call, she was awesome, my dog isn't beyond help.

These kinds of scenarios happen a lot.

So to put it to use currently, health-wise I have been getting random little red bumps that neither the doctor nor the derm seem to know the cause to. Sometimes there are a few in one place, other times they're just single little red bumps. Additionally, I stopped taking accutane a couple of weeks ago and still have some spots on my face that developed halfway through the treatment and just kind of stuck around. Every now and then, I'll get really tiny little bumps. In any other scenario I'd say no big deal but mentally I'm terrified that this is all connected, that I'm either systemically ill or my acne is coming back, but will be worse this time.

So I guess mentally I thought I could use my times when I am "wrong" about my fears as fuel for logic. I was worried about the vet calling me, and the result of that situation was totally positive. I'm worried about my acne coming back full force - maybe that won't happen, my mind is just playing tricks on me and I could have a record of proof.

I dunno. I don't want to fall into the habit of putting myself down or thinking I'm constantly wrong, but it's almost comforting to think, "you were wrong about that fear, you could be wrong about this fear too".

---------- Post added at 19:26 ---------- Previous post was at 16:33 ----------

So, I've been using an anxiety app my therapist recommended but didn't love the journaling feature so I started looking for a different journal app. I actually came across a "worry journal" where I can list my worry, some details, and mark if what I feared happened, didn't happen, or I am still awaiting an outcome. There's even a neat little pie graph of the three options so you can see how often your fears come true or are unfounded.

I'm liking it so far so I think it could be a good option for now.

[Buster70]

Hi there poppy , good to see you looking after your dog as well , I've got two dogs as you know one is now a three legged friend the other is more my partners dog and that is a very nervous and needy dog they do have a lot of feelings like us anxiety , depression , as for waiting for calls it drives me nuts last week waited all day for vets to a call about the amputation they didn't and it puts me really on edge , I also self refered for cbt and they said they call on a certain day my anxiety went through the roof waiting for a simple call , I make metal notes of pains and illnesses I get so next time i can think felt like this before and didn't drop dead as I thought I would problem is the pains or symptoms can change just enough to make to freak out , the last few years have been a nightmare but even when things have got real bad they haven't always turned out quite as bad as I imagined nearly lost my daughter but she pulled through and nearly lost partner but she has come through as well , I've wasted so much precious time thinking the worst outcome hopfully your writing down of fears that were unfounded will make you more equipped to deal with new ones , take care .

[Sunflower2]

Hi Poppy,

I think what I do is related to cbt but I can't remember which bit, but you write down the situation and what your fear about it is. Then you write down all the possible outcomes even the crazy ones. Then once the situation is over go back and compare what the outcome actually was. I'm sure I had printed out sheets for this when I had cbt..

As a shortened version now I just wrote all everything I'm worried about in a book then leave it. Then, later in the day or the next day I'll go back to it and write a counter statement or solution to remind myself how it turned out or how I'll deal with it. I don't know if that all makes sense! I also had very low self esteem and had to do a similar type of thing with my cbt therapist to address those issues!

It didn't make me feel bad about myself, it make me realise that I think I'm a lot less capable than I actually am so increasing my self esteem!

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hi Poppy,

There are some useful tools for this which you could have a look at to see if they fit your purpose or maybe even combine to take it forward in a more positive way? Wabbit raised the issue of seeing the positivity and you can use such tools to move from negative to positive via reframing:

http://psychology.tools/functional-analysis.html
http://psychology.tools/functional-a...-planning.html
http://psychology.tools/abc-belief-monitoring.html
http://psychology.tools/hotspot-record.html

Changing the belief:

http://psychology.tools/modifying-ru...sumptions.html
http://psychology.tools/positive-belief-record.html
http://psychology.tools/theory-a-theory-b.html
http://media.psychology.tools/worksh...trac_en-us.pdf

Those are free to download for personal use.