Coping with Change

[pulisa]

That sounds like a really good plan for an enjoyable holiday where you could do just what YOU want and enjoy the company of your more sociable dog without having to worry about other people's needs or feelings. I feel that you need something to look forward to rather than just battling anxiety on a daily basis which is so very debilitating and depressing. You deserve to have some good things in your life.

[.Poppy.]

Thank you. It would be very nice - I started making tentative plans today, but will finalize them a bit more after my dad's surgery.

I chickened out of telling the rest of my friend group that I was not able to make the trip, and asked my best friend to relay the message instead. I'm about to go to bed, but will check messages tomorrow. I am planning on calling the hotel they are staying at to see if I can get a little gift basket delivered for them, as I think it would be a nice gesture since I can't come along. I'm still feeling quite sad about the entire situation, but I guess I've beaten it to death at this point - it is what it is.

[Catkins]

Honestly Poppy although it's sad for you, I think you did the right thing. In your position I would have just worried the whole time about what was happening at home. Plus your mum asking you to stay home was probably quite a big thing for her to do.

A solo trip to a cabin sounds wonderful!

[Asterfall]

I'm happy to see you made a decision, and you did the right thing despite it being difficult. Being there for your mom and dad during the latter's surgery is what matters and as you said you can always plan another holiday another time, and your idea of one to a cabin is a good idea After all of this sometime to yourself to relax is very well deserved, and can hopefully let your mind, anxieties and fears all calm down from this. I wish your dad the best, and same with your dog, and I said it before but everything here proves your a good, caring person to all your loved ones and friends.

And it's okay to feel sad over it all, when things come at you and you have to make hard choices, it's only natural you'd feel down. But there are always better times in the future after everything our personal demons cause us alongside these hurdles thrown at us. It's just getting there that is the issue, but you can do it

[.Poppy.]

I understand u((
I have renovations in my house and all the changes are so hard to cope with for me

They are really difficult, especially as I don't have a kitchen at all now so there's really not much to eat, and I can't cook, so if I'm really hungry I have to eat out which is not at all cost effective. It's also a bit frustrating because I definitely appreciate my parents doing this work for me, they come in while I'm out at work myself and things get moved around so I can't find anything. A few weeks ago my dad pushed a table over my indoor geranium, which blocked out all the light, and by the time I noticed it was nearly dead (still barely hanging on). I had that flower for years and it was always so pretty and I'm just really frustrated that it happened.

I'm also admittedly a bit down because my friends were really understanding that I couldn't go, so it seems, they have also been really silent on our group chat and I suspect they've created one of their own as they've had some posts come through the group chat that were really random and out of place, so I think they were responding to the wrong thread. The first was a couple of days after I said I couldn't attend, and it was something to the effect of "Sara can't go", which makes me think they created their own chat and are trying to fill my place - which is a bit hurtful, to be honest. But I guess it is what it is.

[.Poppy.]

So, my dad made it through his surgery and it seemed to go really well. I was able to visit him briefly, and he will be home tomorrow. Just hoping all goes well overnight and through the recovery.

[pulisa]

No reason why it shouldn't, Poppy. The very best news that he has had the surgery and all is well.

[.Poppy.]

My dad is still doing well, which is of course a good thing, but he's been a bit tricky to deal with. I think he's frustrated because there are still some things he can't do (he's not supposed to lift over 10 lbs for another week or so) but he's just taken that really far the other direction - he won't even make himself a sandwich, instead has my mom do it. He's also been really snappy and if you're not fawning over him every section, you "just don't care".

I was planning out a vacation for myself this fall and unfortunately that has been a bit monopolized. I was going to either go somewhere alone, or said my parents could join me but we had to go somewhere pretty remote because if they came we'd have to take my dog along. I found a cabin for them to look at that is pretty isolated and has trails on the property that connect to the national forest. My dad took one look and immediately started whining that it was "too isolated, there's nothing to do but hike". Which was the point. So he's been pushing dog friendly rentals on me that are in a popular vacation hub, except that I know any trails nearby will be very populated (likely with off leash dogs) and a lot of the stuff he would want to do wouldn't be Chisum-friendly, so I fear that I'll end up sitting in the rental by myself while he gets to do what he wants.

I told him that I could go by myself, if they'd watch my dog, and then I'd be happy to house sit for them if they wanted to go on a vacation somewhere together. But that itself is rough waters - he wants to go to Florida, which for many reasons my mom does not want to do, and my mom has expressed that she'd likely prefer to vacation with me than with him, because he's been difficult lately. And I'm sure she doesn't want me to wander into the mountains alone either.

I'm hoping to get something booked somewhat soon so that stuff doesn't fill up, but on top of my current HA worry (because of course there's always one) it's tricky. I'm just a bit frustrated and feel a bit pushed around.