you sound so stressed and worried. worrying about yourself as well as infecting others. The thing, is, you can't really control much - so I don't think incessant testing is doing much. For example the other day - i was going to buy tickets to go on a ferry - and I noticed that they said that "testing is not required as it is not a reliable way of testing for covid"... so somewhere along the line the policy has changed. Probably the only thing I can think for you is exposure therapy.. meaning you go out without testing, and you force yourself to interract with the world, going outside without doing any tests. You need to break this cycle.