Hello.

I want to start out by saying that I very much relate to your situation. Primarily during the COVID lockdown, I was bound by OCD and had to resort to rituals to keep myself reassured and less anxious. I avoided doing things on certain days, performed a ritual every time I went in my bedroom, opened up a new tab in Chrome, booting up a video game, starting a movie, yada yada, you get the idea. To put it short, it made my life a living hell.

However, if there's one thing that me and a lot of people have learned on here is that avoidance is like a drug. It may provide temporary relief but once the effects wear off, our OCD remains not only just as bad pre-avoidance but sometimes even worse. And, while I still have moments of my OCD kicking in and trying to prevent me from doing certain things, its nowhere near as bad as it once was because living my life to the fullest is whats most important to me and I no longer let my OCD interfere with that. I can now click on a YouTube video or leave my bedroom without performing one ritual!

The key is not to try and fight the OCD. Its to let it do its thing and ignore it afterwards. Easier said than done I know, but it CAN be done. The next time you play your game, try to avoid doing rituals or cut them down significantly. Say to yourself "Okay, so the number 13 showed up here, that seems scary but I can't just go back and try and fix it. I will deal with it". Good luck and I hope you get better!