It affects me from the moment i wake to the moment i try to sleep.My life is one of making up excuses for not doing things to feeling like i am living a lie.I hate taking the meds cos they make me sick...and they dont seem to do me much good anyway.I am ashamed of the way i feel...to me it is a weakness.I am not at work.Last week i had to go to department doctor for check up...the nurse that was in there is a woman that i have known for many years.I was so ashamed telling the doctor of my illness with the nurse sitting at my left shoulder.I didnt expect the nurse to be from the same town.I felt so down afterwards that i went and drank way too much.I had the worst hangover that i ever had in my life and thought i was going crazy.It was like one long panic attack the next day.All i can say is that it feels like a living hell.I often wonder where the person i once was is now...I dont think i will ever find that person again.I wish everyone all the best.