I finally did it!
Today I actually went to the nurses smear clinic and had a test. I'm so overdue I can't remember when I had one done before, but due to panic & anxiety and bad/painful experiences in the past I could not bring myself to go. Only responsibility for my daughter and knowing that this preventative can save lives finally got me to go....
I booked a long appointment, after explaining to the receptionist that I was extremely nervous, and had a good chat with the nurse first. I took 4mg diazepam 2hrs before the appointment, because I knew if I was tense it would be more uncomfortable. The nurse really listened and put me at ease. Took things slowly checking I was ok throughout. I actually felt quite positive and know that not only have I been, when I need to go again I will feel more able and more confident.
One to me! (one in the eye for PA!) woo hoo!
__________________
Lisa.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do.So sail away from the safe harbor. Explore. Dream. Discover.