Re: Scared already to take it......
I personally know several people who have taken this med without ANY significant side effects at all. I have yet to actually meet someone who has suffered with it, but I know of those on NMP that have. Ultimately only you can decide if you want to take the meds, BUT (and this is a big BUT), if it doesn't help, or makes you feel worse, you shouldn't dismiss all/any other meds. I've tried several and have recently been prescribed Mirtazepine, which for me, has had no unpleasant side effects at all.
If depersonalisation and derealisation are really unbearable (as they have been for me in the past so I know exactly what you're experiencing), I'd take the medication option anytime (and previously have).
In my mind, depersonalisation and derealisation are the absolute worst symptoms of anx, give me a PA any day in comparison. I suffered for 18-24 months pre medication (god only knows how I kept going) and if I had known that there was a medication that could have helped, I'd have taken it a lot sooner. I, like you was terrified of AD's, but they helped me SO much. The depersonalisation and derealisation just vanished for me, which left me able to cope with, and tackle the anx with a clear rational mind.
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For every day we suffer, there's a day of joy coming our way so tally up your bad days and see how much joy is yet to come.