Morning Kate,
You're absolutely right to go for the lowest dose that works. That way, you get fewer side effects and coming off them should be easier.
In answer to some of your points, I'll share a bit of how I see things. I always see meds as my last resort when I'm really struggling to get things into perspective on my own. This is the second time when I've needed their help and, for me, they give me a little relief to be able to see things more clearly and they ease some of the anxiety symptoms letting me get on with my life. They're nowhere near a cure though and it's always a matter of compromise and a balance between the good they do and the side effects they cause. Because I've been on ven before, I know them pretty well and how I react so I feel I can make the decision in an informed way.
As for coming off them. I've said before that I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. I've come off them before and, although it wasn't particularly pleasant, it wasn't the hardest thing I've done by a long shot. The hardest thing for me is dealing with my anxiety when it's at its worst. For now, I'm concentrating on getting better and it seems to be working.
I hope that sharing my views might help you a bit.
Take care
Pip xxx