Hi Bighomer

there are a lot of us here who have known exactly how you feel ....not wanting to wake up . here have a hug
and sometimes it helps to write this sort of things down .
Keep going will you ............keep ploughing on because You are worth it ........your children need you and love you ....
It will not always be like this . See your doctor soon and tell him /her your feelings .......copy this post if you cant get words out .

small steps will lead you to recovery with help from your doctor ..and never ever feel you are worthless.......its the illness speaking .........not you xx .