Hello all I'm back again... can't sleep not particularly anxious just mind tends to ramble on abit in the night. I'm so scared of everything like literally everything to the point it's stopping me doing things. To scared to eat nuts incase I have suddenly developed an allergy, couldn't go on rollercoaster in theme park the other day incase I caused a tear to an artery or something of that manner, can't play fight cos if you tap me on the head dear God the fear I will be filled with that's a very short list of things in My massive list of things I'm to afraid to do. It doesn't help that I also have actually been feeling ill for a whole.. incredibly tired, dizzy, waking up with itchy skin, pains in arms ect ect convinced myself there is something bad now because iv been feeling so ropey... Tara palmer Tompkinsons death set me off she died of a perforated ulcer ... I have had a suspected one for about 2 years now some days im nearly crippled by piercing stomach pains... I'm just so scared I'm going to die an leave my kids they are only 7 and 4 months they need me can't bear the thought of them growing up and my daughter forgetting me and my son never knowing me breaks my heart. Plus I'm absolutley petrified of dying anyway it's the great unknown isn't it.. I'm scared if God exists which I'm inclined to believe he does I'm on a straight ticket to hell iv not been a good person in my life. I hate it when people say god doesn't exist when u die that it it's over finished. It's such a hard subject to wrap my head around that everything that make me me they way I think and feel will just stop abruptly and that it like poof I have disappeared I can't comprehend my soul if u will just stops existing... still terrified of the hell idea 😟 I don't even know why im waffling on so much I'm lying in bed can't sleep and my stomach is getting sharp burny pains in it and I feel throughly out of sorts. Anyone about to try and put things into perspective for me?