Hi Kitty93.

I know the suffering that goes with losing a loved one, it can feel totally overwhelming for quite sometime, but please believe me when I tell you that you will find happiness again one day, we all do. As for now, just try and take what life throws at you as NORMAL and part of the grieving process. I know in your case and in mine, its compounded with nervous suffering too , but I think you have made a great step forward in seeking your own help, and I am sure it will help you a lot.
Thank goodness for sites like this which I just joined too.
Take heart, and know that you will not always feel as you do right now. xx