Woke today feeling ok, got brekky dressed etc. When i git an overwhelming flat feeling(life sucked out of me)
Went into garden to try not focus on it and get stuck in
But the shit was still lurking at the forefront bothering me.
Im i not strong enough to push the shitty thing away, whys it not happening for me? As it does for other suffers?
So. Got angry with myself for letting these thoughts/feeling get to me. So i got my shoes on
Car keys and bag and walk out the door.
Didnt feel relaxed and in traffic waiting felt the panic heighten. Didnt want to give in so took 1 mg diazepam with water.
Got into town still with unpleasant feeling lurking, tried to concentrate on shopping and looking around at things.
Didnt run, but boy it was unpleasant. Might of been a push to far for me
Got to keep doing it, but maybe local on my own for now
Im scared i might end up really anxious everytime i go out on my own now, or even become agrophobic, as when out with dp im not half as bad.
Diazepam as kicked in and now feel slightly calmer, maybe because im home?
Going to go local shop after tea, see what that brings
Hugs to all anxiety/ depression suffers xx