Miss Alissa
22-10-08, 09:59
Hi everybody
Last night I was feeling really jittery and anxious – a combination of low blood sugar, lack of sleep and hormones I think – great combination! Anyway, I’d been wound up so tightly all day and all my muscles just felt like they might snap. I was feeling really low and fed up and just hating the anxiety and the health anxiety and having to ‘deal’ with it all day every day - I was quite teary all the way home. So decided to have good hot shower when I got in – somehow trying to get the top off the shampoo bottle I ended up jabbing a very sharp plastic edge really, really hard into my shoulder – and straight into the middle of a mole that pretty much started all this anxiety off! Then, hooray, it started bleeding – cue tears, fears, panic and everything else that goes with it. In fairness I think any part of my skin would have bled considering how hard I jammed this thing into me – it really hurt. And my doc has told me repeatedly that moles will often bleed if they’re traumatized – but there is still that voice in the back of my head reminding me of a million stories I’ve heard of where that was the first sign of something bad. I’ll also say that 3 doctors have looked at this and aren’t particularly concerned about it –but now I have a giant great red, bloody scab which just looks scary and horrible. I guess I just have to wait until it heals and decide what to do then – but what a stupid thing to do. Freaking about health anxiety so I’ll jam a piece of plastic hard into my mole! I almost had to laugh – I’d just been thinking how hard it was to escape HA – and then I go and do something myself (albeit accidentally) to set it off again. I suppose that’s actually pretty reflective of how this works really – although most of the time the self-infliction is less physical.
On that note – I was thinking of going to the mole clinic to have one of the full body mole checks – my doc was saying they’re pretty good (although not cheap) for keeping an eye on these things and picking up abnormalities. I’m very pale, have had already had a few removed so I’m quite nervous about them – has anybody else done this?
Thanks
Ali
Last night I was feeling really jittery and anxious – a combination of low blood sugar, lack of sleep and hormones I think – great combination! Anyway, I’d been wound up so tightly all day and all my muscles just felt like they might snap. I was feeling really low and fed up and just hating the anxiety and the health anxiety and having to ‘deal’ with it all day every day - I was quite teary all the way home. So decided to have good hot shower when I got in – somehow trying to get the top off the shampoo bottle I ended up jabbing a very sharp plastic edge really, really hard into my shoulder – and straight into the middle of a mole that pretty much started all this anxiety off! Then, hooray, it started bleeding – cue tears, fears, panic and everything else that goes with it. In fairness I think any part of my skin would have bled considering how hard I jammed this thing into me – it really hurt. And my doc has told me repeatedly that moles will often bleed if they’re traumatized – but there is still that voice in the back of my head reminding me of a million stories I’ve heard of where that was the first sign of something bad. I’ll also say that 3 doctors have looked at this and aren’t particularly concerned about it –but now I have a giant great red, bloody scab which just looks scary and horrible. I guess I just have to wait until it heals and decide what to do then – but what a stupid thing to do. Freaking about health anxiety so I’ll jam a piece of plastic hard into my mole! I almost had to laugh – I’d just been thinking how hard it was to escape HA – and then I go and do something myself (albeit accidentally) to set it off again. I suppose that’s actually pretty reflective of how this works really – although most of the time the self-infliction is less physical.
On that note – I was thinking of going to the mole clinic to have one of the full body mole checks – my doc was saying they’re pretty good (although not cheap) for keeping an eye on these things and picking up abnormalities. I’m very pale, have had already had a few removed so I’m quite nervous about them – has anybody else done this?
Thanks
Ali