I Think I'm Suicidal.

[footballking]

Constant health anxiety all day everyday for 3 months. I am having trouble eating, because of choking sensation, and i am generally not as hungry and feel weak. Diazepam makes me worse for some reason, I can't bare this any longer. Constant fear of heart attack, stroke, cancer etc.

I'm not on any medication, if diazepam makes me worse, what's lexapro going to do? I would probably be even more suicidal.

I just feel like I want to end it all, parents are getting tired of me, i'm getting tired of me.

I barely remember the old me. So close, something's going to push me over the edge, i can feel it. I just don't want to wait till it's too late.

I know most of you will say there is light at the end of the tunnel, but i'm in a bad mentality and feel like I'm dying, and I want to end it before something else does such as a heart attack or stroke.

It took me a lot of strength to write this, as I am usually positive, but I can't take it. Any input would be helpful.

I don't want to take lexapro because of the increased stroke risk and heart attack risk.

Thanks.

[Lilharry]

You need to make an appointment with your GP asap. Don't fight this alone - you need to trust your GP to make the decisions for you right now. Things will get better with the right care. Make an appointment right away and try not to worry what the outcome will be, just take it as it comes. If you are feeling desperate could you call some kind of crisis team or an ambulance? I'm not sure how it works over there, but you need some help. It's not your fault that you feel like this and there are people out there who can help you.

[mrsnobody]

i think you need to phone nhs direct/ out of hours doctor tonight and explain how you feel. "I Think I'm Suicidal" - if this is how you feel now and you get no where with nhs direct go to hospital tonight. That is what i would do

[footballking]

It doesn't matter. It's like I don't want to help myself.

[Carly Lou]

Snap out of this now... you need to call the samaritans i can asure you they do a bloody good job.... seriously... feeling ill all the time because of anxiety and the convincing that your dying is hell... i have exactly that... but you have really got to have a rational thought.... imagine how your parents would feel... your friends and all of us on here.... once your gone thats it... theres no turning back... you need to be really rational and think you will bloody fight this.... you havent been like it forever and you wont be like it forever... i had the most terrible health anxiety 4 years ago... i was suicidal.... planning my funeral believing i was going to die soon.... this went on and on and on and on i had test after test after test and they all came back fine.... its all ANXIETY.... i did cbt meds everything you really have to try and help yourself... we can all do our best to help you ... so please call nhs direct or the samaritans.... just talk to someone...
i dont like seeing posts about suicidal etc... :( it makes me really sad so please ring someone xxxxx
Carls xx

[ritaroo81]

footballking.
Please get some help. you cant do this alone. i agree that if things are really that bad then you need to talk to someone. Have you tried samaritains??? xxx

[footballking]

nobody can help me that's the problem. It's so hard to get out of a hole. I wish i was at least eating properly, then I could fight this. But I feel the weight loss is due to cancer or something.

I've tried so many things. I wish it was easier but at least the creator gave us an option, if we don't like our lives we can end them ourselves.

[ritaroo81]

Please dont talk like that

[mrsnobody]

my relative took the way out option and it total wreaked his family. He never saw how it effected the people he loved. you need help tonight. the reason you are loosing wieght is because you are not eatting- i know because i did it to myself too. i have lost seven stone in total. you think people wont help you but they will and they are trying too- starting with the people who are on here typing back to your threads.

---------- Post added at 22:45 ---------- Previous post was at 22:44 ----------

you need to get help tonight if not for yourself but for your family.

[ritaroo81]

You posted on a post that i started about being scared of dying... if this is the case how can you say that you are suicidal??? surely you would want the opposite, cause if it were me and the way my head is at the moment fearing death then there is no way that i could even contemplate what you are.. I know its hard and i know i havent got anxiety as bad as some folks on here but id rather be dealing with it and have my family and kids than not :(
Have you even consider a therapist?? or just someone you could talk to to get these feelings off your chest and out in the open. I felt 100% better after i started talking and not hiding it. xx