Chin up Britabb, it will get better. Im sorry to hear about all your family related troubles, i swear problems all come at once sometimes. Have you considered meditation at all? Its so helpful to calm yourself daily, and the more you practice it the more benefits you can feel in everyday life. I can identify negative thought patterns so much faster now and dont involve myself with them anymore. Progressive muscle relaxation is good as well for night time anxiety.

Also i dont think you should be ashamed of your younger years; so you experimented at one point. You didnt hurt anyone. Although that lifestyle is unhealthy i dont think you should blame yourself or talk down to yourself about it, and i dont think you have any lasting damage.

Keep posted about your progress