Still living at home

[sophiethestar]

I've recently moved back home after finishing uni and I hate it but I can't afford to move out right now. I've managed to secure a job which I start in September and this means eventually I'll be abe to afford to move out to rent somewhere, but not any time soon. We live in a bungalow so everything seems so loud and I feel like my life is one constant panic. My dad and his girlfried stomp around loudly on the wooden floors, talk loudly and shout between rooms, slam doors etc. I know it sounds stupid, but noise is one of the things that makes me most anxious. I haven't felt properly calm in ages. I appreciate that they let me live here, and I know I sound like I'm moaning them, and I know it's my problem; not there's, but does anyone have any advice? I can't concentrate properly on anything and need to feel calm. I never feel happy anymore and constantly feel like I want to cry.

[Catherine S]

What was your living arrangement at Uni...did you live in halls or shared house etc? The noise levels must have been much worse there I would think, so its more likely that because you really don't want to be at home again you're more tuned into stuff that probably wouldn't necessarily bother you before? Congrats on the job though, that's great and September isn't that far away so at least you'll be out of the house whilst there and hopefully won't take you long to get a place of your own. If things really get to you perhaps you could consider a house or flat share which may be a cheaper option and means you could move out quicker, and there are alot of peaceful living owners looking for like-minded people to share and often the rooms come with en-suite so you still have your privacy.

ISB x

[sophiethestar]

At uni there were 6 of us in a shared house, but the house was pretty spacious and I had the attic room so couldn't here any noise from the floors below which was great. Although I do agree it's not only the noise that bothers me and the real problem probably is the fact that I don't want to be here. It just kinda feels like I've taken a step back in life- from feeling like the world was within my reach and feeling so free, to being back home feeling like a stroppy teenager again. I plan on renting somewhere with my boyfriend who has also recently graduated but he's yet to start his job too. Thank you for your advice, I appreciate it. x

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hi Sophie,

I don't think you are alone here, I think many young people would agree with you on moving back to their parents after having some freedom.

You could try relaxation techniques such as the breathing techniques, Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR) or maybe something like yoga?

I would always suggest Mindfulness meditation which, whilst taking time to learn & understand, will help you relax, help you be more accepting of situations & yourself, help you control your thoughts and regain your ability to focus, etc.

Being constantly on edge is very common with anxiety, I have GAD with OCD and this was one of my problems at my worst stage of it all. I found that the relaxation, Mindfulness, exercise & getting in the fresh air all helped me.

[MyNameIsTerry]

i really appreciate your post

Thanks Hazel

[sophiethestar]

Thank you for your advice. I am pretty active and practice yoga which helps a lot. I will definitely look into Mindfulness meditation.

[jonjones]

Hi Sophie,

So sorry to hear of your problems. Try to stay in the moment. Practise letitg the feelings, symptoms and however you are feeling happen. And dont add to it.

Mindfulness like Terry suggests is a good way. Try to take deep breaths, exhale slowly and try not to be involved in the anxiety.

So on the exhale try to put your mind, your thoughts into neutral. Stay in the moment and dont even try to improve how you feel, be seperate from whats goig on. Not in an idnoring way but in an accpeting way/ not fighting way!

And try to let go of the tight hold of yourself. Try to let your shoulders, arms, tummy muscles etc sag!

You may not see an instant improvement as it takes time for your body to respond but keep at it!

Jon