OCD over HIV and Symptoms..Drive me crazy

[johanbakry]

Hi everyone, I'm kinda new here and hopefully somebody can help me on my problems. I got over-thinking about HIV since I got possible exposure on 4 month ago. I already tested many time between 3 weeks to 4 month and came out negative. Actually after got negative result on the 3 month mark, I already accept my negative result and move on. However on the 3.5 month (approx.) I got lymph node on my neck and it trigger my anxiety and to panic and think about late seroconversion. 10 days after I went to take another test and it came back negative. The doctor said that "symptoms are not significant to evaluated as you got HIV or not, only the window period and test will give your real status". He said "the result shown that you do not have HIV"..the word that heard alot but still not convincing for me even it came from a specialist with 25 years of HIV experiences. The doctor Google also cause alot of panic since some say the window period are more than 6 month and it put me on living hell now..If someone there who are experiencing like I did, should I go for another test on 6 month mark.Now my anxiety take over my life completely and I'm still searching for the HIV symptoms. Every area of my body when I touch I feel a lymph node and some area, armpit now in pain cause palpate the area because sore. My partner said that the pain cause by myself obsessing searching/poking/touching the area.(Yea she know it because she observing me most of the time, doing something stupid). Please help me.. thank you

[Josh21]

Now my anxiety take over my life completely and I'm still searching for the HIV symptoms. Every area of my body when I touch I feel a lymph node and some area, armpit now in pain cause palpate the area because sore. My partner said that the pain cause by myself obsessing searching/poking/touching the area.(Yea she know it because she observing me most of the time, doing something stupid). Please help me.. thank you

Trust your partner and the doctor. Its hard with OCD as we know the thoughts are irrational but we still believe them.
If we look for something to prove something 9/10 times we will find it,or what we believe proves it to be precise.
I've had obsessions over if I was HIV but thankfully I got over them, I never saw a doctor but I told myself over and over again I couldnt have contracted it the way I believe I had.

Maybe write down a list of things that disprove your concerns i.e
'been to the doctors'
'shown no symptoms/ etc
It may help to have a visual aid when you get very anxious to help rationalise your thoughts.