My name is Sean. I'm 24 years old. When I was in my second year of college (about 2011), I got very ill in the middle of class one day. There was no change of routine. This was the start of an entire year being sick. I first tried the physical tests, and when nothing was characterized as odd, I went on to see a psychologist. The therapy itself never really helped me but I was put on Paroxetine and the illness finally went away. I went back to school, interned, got a job, fixed family problems, graduated with honors... basically what I'm trying to say is my life changed drastically for the better.

I still have panic episodes every once in awhile. It always seems to happen when I travel. I can't even really go to another county. Last summer, I went to Vegas as a way to celebrate graduation and got very ill not 3 hours after we got there. I had to force myself to go to the Cirque du Soleil shows and almost passed out at the first one. I felt as if someone was holding me upside down the entire show (the extreme light-headedness). I had to be moved to the back of the audience. I tried to take a day trip to Los Angeles and started having a panic attack in a restaurant.

The thing is, I'm never in a state of conscious fear. I am never afraid to leave the house. I was excited to go on vacation. It hits out of nowhere, and I am sick until days after I'm back home. Today, family came to visit that I haven't seen in a long time. I didn't sleep very well last night, and today I've felt nauseated all day, had a few brief shakey panic episodes, and my skin is very hot all over. I was not afraid to see family. I was looking forward to it. I enjoyed myself the entire time. I was completely comfortable.

I had to present a thesis I was working on to the professors in my field at college. THAT was terrible. I worried about it for weeks. I almost passed out during the presentation. I put my body through a roller coaster ride of panic with that one. However, I did not get sick. At all.

I don't know how I am going to get help with something that is so subconscious. My psychologist hasn't cured it. My psychiatrist hasn't cured it. My doctor hasn't cured it. I don't know what to do. I am afraid I'm going to have issues trying to get a new job, and I definitely have no hope of traveling anywhere.

If it helps, as a child I developed a lot of phobias towards things: spiders, enclosed spaces, theme park rides, drops, etc. Based on what I told my psychologist about my childhood, all of this developed from abuse from my dad. He had a horrible temper and I was under constant threats and anxiety (not to mention his disgusting need to terrify me to death every night to get a laugh). My psychologist said that, because of the abuse, my body does not know how to handle stress normally and it comes out in illness.