Hi,

I am new here and so glad that I found this site. I have my annual mammogram in one week and I have convinced myself that I have breast cancer and that this will be the time they find it because I have dense breast and I am having a 3D mammogram.

It seems like breast cancer stories are everywhere - everywhere I look I see it and hear about it and I think it is a sign - trying to prepare me for the inevitable. I found out a year ago that my aunt had breast cancer at 63 ( lumpectomy and hormone treatment - she said it was no big deal) and my grandma had a bit removed at 90. She is still alive at 94! I would have no idea if my mom had it she hasn't had a mammo in 30+ years and is 73.

I google non-stop - it is interrupting my work and all I do while I am at home. I did this last year too…. the anxiety is too much. The lady I work with at work was diagnosed at my age so it is a daily reminder. Plus the lady across the hall at work had it recently . It's like it is everywhere. I know I only have a 2.5% chance of being diagnosed but I focus on that instead of the 97% chance I won't get it because it seems like it is everywhere. Every time I turn on the tv there is a new celebrity with it or news anchor or something. Its like I can't get away from it.

I asked my dh to go with me to the appt. Then he is going out of town and I want to tell him not to because I am convinced it will be bad news. I have already figured out what I would do treatment wise, how I will tell my kids, planned my funeral. It is AWFUL!

And even if I get an "all clear" I won't believe it because there is so much in the news right now about mammas missing cancer in women with dense breast. UGH

Does anyone else do this?

Thank you!