Obsessed with Anxiety

[Ian]

Hi everyone,

I'm new to this site and just wanted to pick your brains.

I had my first panic attack seven years ago, and since then ahve been on and off medication (seroxat). I've had to deal with a couple of redundancies, loss of both parents, and various other bits of crap.

The question is - now, I keep thinking about anxiety and depression - it's with me almost every minute of the day and it seems like no matter how hard I try everything i do seems to be in the context of anxiety and depression.

I hardly think about others - just myslef - and really worry that this 'thing' has taken me over! When I read about changing 'neural pathways' I worry that I've thought about anxiety so much that I can't retrain myself not to think about it!

In fact, when I'm thinking about anxiety I almost have an obsession with looking at websites and trying to find people who feel the same way as a means of coping -though I have to say when you read some of the stuff it makes me feel worse rather than better!

Is ther anyone out there who has gone through/is going through similar problems??

Having said that, I still manage to lead quite a normal life. I have a good job, nice home, enjoy music, reading, travelling - but always with this 'background' thinking.

Hope to hear from you.

Ian

[Karen]

Hi Ian

Welcome to the forum. You have obviously had a lot of cope with in your life, with the loss of your parents and redundancies, and it sounds like you are doing so well getting on with life.

I think it is only natural to want to reach out to other people who have similar experiences. I have often felt very alone in the past. I didn't know anyone who has had the problems with depression and anxiety that I suffer with but sharing experiences with others certainly helps.

I can relate to what you say about feeling you have an obsession with looking at website etc. I spend a lot of time online now I have found this forum beause it is so helpful to read other messages and receive feedback from people on my issues. Sometimes it can seem that thinking about the depression and anxiety is taking over our lives.

I hope you find this site helpful and I am sure you will receive a lot of support and advice here.

Take care.

Briary

[Meg]

Hi Ian,

What you're reporting is so common. I think we've all done that for a period of time.

Couple of questions please

Are you still on meds now ?
How much have you had any recent panics or severe anxiety symptoms ?
How much have you shared with those close to you ?

Neural pathways are timeconsuming to change but can be changed after many many years .

**I hardly think about others - just myslef - ** #

This is the bit to change first and the rest follows . Get involved with someone who needs some help - elderly needing errands or jobs done, kids training etc just to put someone elses needs first .

It feels really good when you do first realize that you're less introspective.

Affirmations go a long way with neural pathways as they're short and to the point and become your mantra repeated ad nauseum and its through repetition that they get relearnt.

Its very normal to want to find people who have had similar experiences and try to benchmark yourself against others and see if there is anything ( possible miracle cure ) you've missed along the way.

The other thing is to fill your thoughts with another detailed project maybe a DIY one but not just go to B+Q- get it fitted but something you really have to plan/discuss with yourself from several angles and that you can dwell on during journeys. Getting involved with a detailed project at work would help too -anything that holds you attention.
Doing art and learning a musical instument help too.













Meg

Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind.
If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.
Robert Albert Bloch

[seh1980]

hello there Ian,

Welcome to the site!! I have felt just like you describe in the past. I used to only be able to think about myself because I was so concerned about my anxiety and panic attacks. Joining this site and becoming pen-pals with other sufferers helped me get over that because it did me a lot of good to start thinking about the problems that others were having. It forced me to stop being so selfish. Hopefully this site will have the same effect on you!!

Sarah

[sal]

Hi Ian

Welcome to the site. You have had a lot to cope with through out the years and how you feel is only natural. Anxiety and depression can become obsessional and at times all you can do is think about yourself, how will you over come it, how will you cope, will it ever go. It takes time, hard work and support of people who really understand how you feel.

So joining this site will help you loads and make you see how you feel is rational for anxiety and depression suffers.



Love Sal xxxxx

[EMMA]

Hi Ian,

I have felt exactly the same as you. Anxiety and depression almost feel like little voices in your head. You try to switch off from thinking about them but they are still there going on and on.

Things do get better though. The little voices do go away eventually.

This website is brilliant because you learn so much about how to cope. Sometimes the advice from a fellow sufferer can mean so much. I felt low last week but got some really good advice from this site and I'm back on track again now.

Take care

Em xx

[Caz Fab Pants]

Ian,

I know exactly what you mean. I've had periods over the years where all I think about morning, noon and night is my panic, anxiety and depression. It does get better but it takes time.

Its a bit like a vicious circle where the more you think and worry about it the more of an issue it becomes, until eventually there isn't an area of your life which is free from it. You need to break the cycle and distract yourself with a hobby or something like Meg said.

I remember my dad once saying that the brain is like a muscle and if you dont keep using it it will become less effective and out of shape. Therefore he's in no rush to retire just yet because he wants his mind to stay active.

Since hearing him say that it makes me wonder if all the countless hours I've spent worrying about anxiety etc. I find it easy to think about my problems and I'd say they over shadow almost my entire life. However as time's gone by I feel like the rest of my brain has become slow and underactive. I dont know if its connected to my meds (Lustral) in any way but I find it hard to concerntrate even on things I enjoy. I struggle to do mathematical calculations in my head and even my ability to recognise wit or understand jokes is impaired.

Hark at me going on about myself. You see Ian, it makes us all a bit self obssessed!!

Caroline
x

[lainey]

Hi Ian

i used to feel like you,totally obseesed with anxiety and myself all the time, I used to surf the web looking for different websites about anxiety all the time...... until I discovered this website. It has helped me so much and I hope it does the same for you, welcome on board mate !

Take care

Elaine x

[Ian]

Hi Meg,

Thanks for your advice and help.

After about three months off of Seroxat, I've just started back again with a dose of 20mg/day. Taking medication seems to build my anxiety cause I worry about its long term effects and also that I'm addicted to it. On the other hand, i get so anxious without it that I can't cope and really become a danger to myself I think.

I've had a few weeks of anxiety symptoms, which really culminated in an episode of what my doctor described as 'disassociation' where I could hear my wife taliking to me but just stared and didn't want to talk back.

I have shared this with others - to the extent where after seven years my wife is coming to the end of her tether and at times like this doesn't see what she gets out of our relationship when I'm so self obsessed all the time.

I'm also seeing a behavioural psychologist, but as far as other people are concerned I don't really talk about it.

Thans again,

Ian

[jill]

Hi Ian

Just want to say welcome to the site.

Jill