Thank you for your in depth replies Terry and Lior.
Hopefully I'll see the step 2 guided self help service in the next few weeks. I rang them and they said they haven't forgotten about me and that i should have an appointment just after xmas. That will make it 5 months after i was initially refered.... For a bit of self help! In decades, they'll look back at these times and find it unbelievable that people with mental health difficulties face months or possibly even years to wait for treatment.
Lior, I'll keep a hold of that list you've made and use it as a safety net. Thank you all for being so understanding when I'm like this. Without people like in this thread, i would genuinely feel a lot more hopeless than i currently do. I can overcome this and i will