My story

[SpongeBobFan]

i thought I'd post here about my experiences with social anxiety

So as a kid I was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, which included difficulties socialising with people. Throughout my life I've tried making friends, but always found it difficult knowing what to say to people. Even now, the thought of trying to speak to people can be scary as I have a fear of messing something up in conversation. So often during bit high school and university, I kept to myself and didn't really speak to people.
As well as that, I've had very limited interests throughout my life, and have always found it difficult to think about things to talk about that didn't involve those interests (not that I couldn't do it, but it was a challenge)

Recently I had a job at McDonald's to make a bit of money, and I really didn't like it there. One of the reasons was because of the anxiety I felt when trying to converse with other employees there. They were always chatting away and I'd never know what to say to them, which probably led them to think that I was boring or something

I should say I did make a few friends in high school. But much lost contact with them once I had started university

Right now though I'm aiming to change all that. I'm trying to find ways to reduce the anxiety I feel when it comes to interacting with people

[Oosh]

I've always suffered from this and still do but no where near as bad.

On myself, I concluded that the thing I should be aiming for is to forget myself.

You're focusing on yourself and asking what you are or are not doing. Hence "look, I don't know what to say","look, others know what to say and I don't".

It's self conscious. You're watching yourself. But you can't be yourself if you're in reality watching yourself.

You are, a lot of the time, watching people interacting who have forgotten themselves and are flowing and enjoying. So I think a good thing to aim for is to forget yourself, what you are or aren't doing and what it does/doesn't look like and just try and forget yourself and flow. That's the quickest route to being and enjoying yourself.

It's hard to forget yourself and flow when you care too much so don't care.

It's hard to forget yourself and flow when you are observing quietly so start talking and aim to lose yourself there.

What things can you enjoy whilst talking ?
Things that make you laugh.
Making people laugh.
Being passionate about your interests.
Being liked by other people because you're interested in them and what they have done/like etc

Jump in
Forget yourself
Look for those things you enjoy.

Then at some point you can give yourself the opportunity to observe yourself and say "omg look at me doing it". And you say that because for a while you'd forgotten about you and had lost yourself in some interactions where you were more focused on them and things you enjoy instead of being focused on you.

Maybe you're scared to be yourself in case people think you're weird. Maybe that's why you care too much and inhibit yourself. Just be whatever you is. Entertain the idea that some may like it. It's inevitable some people will like you and be able to relate to who you are more than they can to other people. It's about finding those people.