Overwhelmed

[deedee12]

I am really struggling to cope. Work is so pressured and I have more and more responsibility put on me. My commute is awful and so tiring. Home life is hard work as my partner and daughter don't help unless specifically asked to do something. I'm on the go from 5.30am to 10.30pm. Weekends are not times I can rest, as I try to do the rest of the chores, the shopping, etc. I have about 2 hours a week to myself, when I go to a gym class. My partner suggests I stop going but I'm reluctant to give up that piece of time to myself just to do more housework. My partner has a medical condition which makes it hard for him to help out.

I seem to be in a complete panic all the time, breathless, nausea, palpitations, dizziness. I can't talk to my family and I've lost my friends. I'm in tears most days on my commute. I'm on meds, they help to an extent but I've still picked my fingers to pieces.

There just isn't any way to make it all stop, or even slow down. I'm so exhausted. I want to crawl into bed and never move again, but I have to work to pay all the bills.

Rant over. Back to work with me!!!

[wantpeace]

Wow. What a lot for one person to deal with. My heart goes out to you deedee. Don't stop the gym. If you like the gym keep it up. Stopping it will probably make you feel worse.

What meds are you on? Is it time for a chat with your GP, or if you're able to, a psychiatrist or psychologist? How old is your daughter? I have 2 boys, 7 and 4. They can be a handful!

[deedee12]

I'm on citalopram. I saw my gp in Jan and he upped the dosage then, so I guess I have to wait a while. I've been on the waiting list for counselling for 6 months, I'm hoping something will come up soon.

My daughter is 22 and working full time too.

I didn't say before, my dad has just been diagnosed with parkinsons and my aunt has terminal breast cancer, as well as mental health issues.

It's all a bit of a soap opera! I'm trying to keep smiling and not let anyone see how badly I'm struggling.

I can imagine 2 boys of that age would be great fun, although definitely a handful!

[wantpeace]

They're fun sometimes, but most of the time, demanding. That's kids though.

The upping of the dosage might need a little while but best to stay in close contact with your GP.

Your family sounds a bit like mine. My dad is in a hospice. About a month ago, he was given weeks to live, but he seems to be recovering slowly. He's bipolar. My mum has suffered agoraphobia, panic attacks and depression since I was young. My dad's brother and sister are housebound due to agoraphobia and depression. My uncle on my mum's side suffers depression following 2 strokes.

We're a right bunch! Like you, I have to focus on the positives. I've been well most of my working life, and I have a family which cares.

[deedee12]

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. That must be tough. And coping with your other family issues must be hard too. Having family support must be really good though. I'm going to try to pluck up the courage to talk to my partner, it might make his life a little easier to realise that my funny moods are not anything to do with him!

Thank you for replying

[wantpeace]

It might make his life a little easier to realise that my funny moods are not anything to do with him!

Thank you for replying

Maybe there are things he can do to help you. My wife compensates so much for my illness when I'm at my worst, but she knows I pull my weight whenever I can or during periods of wellness.

[Buster70]

Hi , new to this forum just read your first post and it struck a chord with me , the part you say you need it all to slow down , I'm in a similar situation partner has heart problems and anxiety / depression the last four years have been hell nearly lost a daughter then nearly lost the house every day is a constant battle , I'm guessing like me you feel like you want to stop the rollercoaster and get off for awhile , I love my family dearly but they are a constant source of stress , last two weeks I've been driving off and just sitting in my van alone to try to escape but I take it with me , you are not alone in how you feel and I wish you all the best in coping you are doing a fantastic job in juggling work and home but you need to make more you time , take care

[NoPoet]

Wow... sounds like they're treating you like a slave. And why would your other half suggest giving up your only outlet? So you can spend more time bringing him cups of tea?

The only way to resolve this situation is to get tough. Leave things for your partner and daughter to do - teach them how to use the dishwasher, washing machine etc - and don't do their washing for them, do your own.

Order your shopping online. Delivery is very cheap or free, it comes already sorted (eg frozen stuff together, raw meat together etc) and will save you massive amounts of time and inconvenience. You could even do it mid-week and have them come in the evening just to get it out of the way.

Your mood is probably your body's way of forcing you to change things. It's saying "right, if you're not going to listen, I'm going to MAKE you listen". Trust it - it's the most powerful tool you'll ever own.