Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

[Under~The~Stars]

Jim, now I feel good because I made you feel good LOL if that makes sense! (I stole your smilie sorry LOL)

Just thought I would share that with you

[skylight2007]

This means that a person with BPD has a problem controlling their emotions and will often seem to move between extremes of the 2 personality types. Either experiencing intense and uncontrollable emotions like sadness and fear or numb and unable to experience other emotions like love or happiness.

Hiya there Jim, I spent the evening thinking about your post especially the above, I agree I am finding it hard to understand BPD, but I cant stop thinking of my dad!!! I use to describe my father as a jekyll and hyde personality, now I understand violent and abusive men do swing from one extreme to the other, like he did, and my father well during his mood swings, he just seem to mix all his emotions , he just couldnt stand any laughter, any happiness, anything good, he just seemed to hate these emotions in his family, I use to find this extremly confusing, and the guilt of trying to feel normal just wasnt happening for myself and my brothers. He also had this concept which he would keep preaching, that the world outside was a human jungle, and we should never ever trust anyone on the outside, because from his point of view, you just couldnt trust anyone . Ironically in the home he was the abuser and we couldnt trust him. Everything about him was back to front, upside down.
Because of your post I am just exploring, and I dont know if my father had this condition, its hard to know, but its got me thinking!!!

He also suffered from depression and was a heavy heavy drinker, well I was brought up with an alcoholic father, that only made him worse, but he suffered abandonment and lost his mum when he was 9, I have tried to understand him and maybe he had this disorder who knows, but it might explain what you were saying, many people have it but never been diagnosed.
I hear what you were saying about getting hurt in relationships,, maybe that is something that may be explored in your therapy.

I am glad you started this post, and I am really trying to understand BPD, I just have this feeling this is what my dad had. Thanks Jim.

Love skylight.

[Jimbo]

Hey Skylight,

Having an abusive father is horrible, I know, sorry you've had to deal with it too.

It took me a lot of counselling and seeing my psychiatrist to find that I might be showing some of the traits of this disorder, so I'm be no means an expert on it... yet.

I think so called 'personality disorders' are so wide ranging and there are a lot of different types, but boil down to "A personality disorder may be diagnosed when it's felt that several areas of someone's personality are causing them or others problems in everyday life".

I guess it's just a 'label' that psychiatrists use to diagnose people who behave in socially or personally unacceptable ways, so your father could well fall into that sort of thing. I know my father was abusive, he was eventually diagnosed with a 'personality disorder' albeit more serious and totally different to mine.

The anger toward family members part of BPD comes from fear of abandonment or rejection. I'm not sure where the anger from your father came from so it might not necessarily be BPD but could perhaps be, and what you described to me sounds like some sort of 'personality disorder', especially the part where you talked about how he deals with emotions and how they could change suddenly.

Any sort of anger, except towards myself, is not really a symptom I have or has caused too many problems for me personally. I am the total opposite end of the scale, anger is an emotion I am pretty good at over controlling, for me being assertive when I should be is more of a problem.

This quote came from the bpd part of the US NIMH (National Institute Of Mental Health) Website:

People with BPD often have highly unstable patterns of social relationships. While they can develop intense but stormy attachments, their attitudes towards family, friends, and loved ones may suddenly shift from idealization (great admiration and love) to devaluation (intense anger and dislike). Thus, they may form an immediate attachment and idealize the other person, but when a slight separation or conflict occurs, they switch unexpectedly to the other extreme and angrily accuse the other person of not caring for them at all. Even with family members, individuals with BPD are highly sensitive to rejection, reacting with anger and distress to such mild separations as a vacation, a business trip, or a sudden change in plans. These fears of abandonment seem to be related to difficulties feeling emotionally connected to important persons when they are physically absent, leaving the individual with BPD feeling lost and perhaps worthless. Suicide threats and attempts may occur along with anger at perceived abandonment and disappointments.

For me, I would say this is not really a symptom I have, things like this have come up from time to time in the past for me. But I do have a lot of fears of abandonment, rejection and losing relationships. For me it doesn't normally come out as anger, thankfully, but it does cause me some intense and difficult to deal with emotions.

I think the whole relationships thing is going to dealt with in detail in the DBT I'm doing, which is great. Hopefully it will help me with the fears I have about that.

The most important thing for me, is dealing with the anxiety and panic disorder side of my condition.

Jim

[Jimbo]

Yikes, that came out a bit long and sounded a bit me, me, me.

I guess what I was trying to say was, your dad sounds like he does have some sort of personality disorder, but not neccassarily BPD.

To get better, he has to want to get better tho, and accept he has a problem, which is the hardest part.

Jim

[skylight2007]

morning jim, I shall get back to you later!!! iinteresting!!! you got my brains cells working overtime!!! love skylight

[Jimbo]

How you diong today Louise? Hope things are ok for you?

Jim

[Pryscil]

Well I have been diagnosed with BPD and I hate it!!!!a lot...oh I have to go and when I come back we'll talk more about it.I am soooo glad to read a thread about this because with this condition I feel terribly lonely!
Pretzel

[Jimbo]

You are not alone Pretzel,

Some of the other people who have posted on this thread have it too. It sucks doesn't it, it's taken me ages to come to terms with the fact I have it, or at least some of the traits of it.

Glad you found it, we are all trying to help and support each other.

Would be good to know how you're getting on with it and maybe some of our other posts might help. I've got my other thread (here) where I'm posting about the therapy (DBT) I'm getting, which might help you a bit.

When were you diagnosed, are you getting any treatment for it too?

Jim

[Pryscil]

I have been diagnosed officially in 2002 they had been talking about it earlier.I still don't think I am totally all they say to be a BPD but I too have some traits I guess.Last year I was in intense 6 months therapy for it (DBT) and it actually helped but I don't think it can ever go away and it my case it gets all tangled up with the anxiety and panic,also depression and I don't know what is what anymore but one things for sure I have trouble keeping my friends but no trouble making them and I feel like I am constantly being abandonned.I just moved in a new city wich threw me rigth off the balance but I am now seeing a psychiatrist for the first time since 2002 for meds...we'll see they were never before able to find a med for me so I'll be suprised if they do now.I have to keep hoping....ah somehow...because I get terribly hopeless,alone and suicidal.The worst is looking at me you never tell I have anything psychologically wrong with me so people draw easely to me but...draws away as fast.I think I should learn how to handle my relationships.Ok I go on and on this is it...just so good to vent.Thanks for listening....Pretzel

[Jimbo]

Hey thanks, don't worry about 'going on and on', have a scroll back a few pages and read some of my epics.

I'm kinda at the start of all this, It's only been recognised in the last 5-6 months that I have the BPD traits on top of all my other problems. I'm just starting the DBT therapy, will be for a minimum of 6 months. I'm trying to stay positive that it will help, but it is hard.

I too get all tangled up with the depression, panic and anxiety disorders I have, which makes everything harder. I've been having a particularily hard time with the depression and self destructive thoughts recently. The lonelyness gets to me too, as I'm totally agoraphobic now, it makes it virtually impossible to go out and meet people.

I've pretty much lost my job and my life has totally gone down the tube over the last year or so. I even have trouble getting into relationships, let alone losing them. I've lost a lot of friends, but thankfully I have a few true friends who have stuck by me no matter what.

I've been going through different meds and have yet to find something that completely cures the depression and anxiety. I went through Prozac, Citalopram, Seroxat and now Effexor. Will be upping the dose next week and also starting antipsychotics, so will let you all know how that goes.

Good to have another fellow sufferer here, we are not so alone now. All we can do is keep hoping and trying to stay positive I guess.

Let us know how things get on with your psychiatrist.

Jim