This morning i woke up wth lots of anxiety and as a result i started to have running thoughts and images of lots of things and people. I Then woke up made a cup of tea to my lover and gave it to him and started to panick that i may have put something in there...that is going to hurt him i started to panick as usual when i feel like this. So i took the tea and made another cup of tea. And now he is drinking it and i am going after all the movements i have done to make the tea to see if i done something wrong. I know i did not!!!!!! Now I will obsess util 2 or 3 hours have passed from the time he drank it so i know he is fine.

I been there before when my anxiety are high i become very very paranoid and start to feel unreal and think what if what i see its not real and its all a dream!!!!

I had a good night last night and today its one of those days where I fear knifes and all the things that fear like hurting my lover, think about things in the past that have happen.like my mum death and more and more....


Is anyone ever doubt when they cook something for others this is not about contamination its about doubting what i did few minutes ago. If i put something in there. Its always the fera of hurtingmy partner.


Please some support.

GD