Hi Rad,
Sound like you were having a bit of a blip yesterday, hopefully that's all it was, when you start to feel the darkness you must remind yourself of all the good you have in your life, like your long standing friends, your family, and all the things that you have achieved over the years, your a very strong person, and you will succeed in life..
I think its good you go to church, faith can be an amazing healer. I was brought up a christian by my mum who is very religious,i don't go to church anymore for my own reasons, but do have faith.

I struggled a bit this morning to pull myself together, i had a terrible nightmare last night and it shook me up a bit, first time i have woken in a sweat for a week or so.
A couple of cups of tea and i was fine.
Went down to the caravan and sorted my steps out on the decking, it took me all day, it was worth it though just to stand back and give myself a pat on the back, i don't want to blow my own trumpet but i am good with the hands on stuff
Been a little bit off this evening, cant put my finger on it, but have a feeling something bad is going to happen, its not dread or anxiety, its just an underlying feeling if you can understand that.
Hope you have had a productive day and not overdone it, you will get there its just taking time, we both still have ups and downs but its better than it was 6 weeks ago by a mile.
As always, all the best wishes, your friend Otterman.