Hi toystry23! Sweden calling=)

Im glad that i saw what you written! Im feeling pretty much the same as you and its killing me! I met a wonderful man and we been together a couple of months. I have never met a man like him. Hes so nice, warm, respectfull,careful and has big safe arms. Our interests are the same and i know he loves me very mutch.

Like you this is my first real relationship. Before this i have a bad experience with guys and i have been letting down more than once.
Mayby my bad experience is something who is getting away from the relationship Im in now? Im not used to be happy...Im used to getting hurt. And then im building upp some kind of wall that im not getting over ( unconscious) beacause im afraid to be hurt again. Mayby may brain is unconscious is telling me that even this guy is going to leave and because of this im not letting my self getting really in love with him.

My tooughts are like yours

Is he right for me?

Do i love him?

Do i really wants to spend my life with him?

why dont i feel butterflys i my stomach all the time?

Am i just telling my self that my feelings of ocd is falce when the reason is that i dont love im?

and so on...

Im also is looking for signs if i love hem or not.This could be like looking att a photo of him because im want to feel what my feelings are. Im also can look att im now and than just because im looking for sings of what my feelings are. This is absolutely insane!

Im so afraid im going to destroy this relationship and discover that i do love him when i left him and he met some other girl. Im getting worrid with the thought that he is leaving me and the thought of seeing him with another girl is killing me! Despite this the awfall feeling of not being in love is nagging my brain several hours a day. Sometimes i just wana give up because im so tierd to feeling so bad that i does. Im wonder if this is getting over sometime or if im going to live with this feeling all my life.

This is my experience...i hope that i mayby have helpt you a little=). GOOD LUCK AND KEEP FIGHTING!! Think about that its often your ocd that thinks your not love him and not you!