Worried about lymphoma

[O_O]

The only good thing is that the suspicious node DOES seem flatter. If I were to take a photo of the side of my neck now, I doubt you'd see a lump - whereas if you remember from my original photo in this thread the lump was very evident.

I don't know if the node is actually flatter, though, or if that's just a skin thing. It still seems the same height and width and I don't understand why those dimensions would stay the same if it was getting flatter.

I'm just so confused and anxious. I can't work out what is rational and what isn't. I think, looking at the evidence as it is, it's not irrational to be worried about it. And I keep remembering all the times I was worried about things and my doctors wouldn't believe me but I was RIGHT - like when I thought I'd lose my second pregnancy, and when I thought there was more tissue left inside but they insisted there wasn't and the ultrasound had actually missed it, and when my mum had laryngospasm and they kept saying it was anxiety even though I KNEW it wasn't but they wouldn't listen until she eventually got diagnosed months later. I keep remembering all these occasions of doctors dismissing me when I knew something was wrong, and then I ended up being right and they weren't.

Idk what to think now.

[pulisa]

So..it's probably best to wait for Friday and cut out the "researching" and ruminating because you are going round in circles and will always come back to the thought that a terrible mistake has been made etc etc

[O_O]

So..it's probably best to wait for Friday and cut out the "researching" and ruminating because you are going round in circles and will always come back to the thought that a terrible mistake has been made etc etc

I'm not even sure it was a mistake, because the diagnosis was only preliminary based on the FNA. That's why he's seeing me again, to check my progress and maybe make a new diagnosis.

It seems like a low grade lymphoma just fits with everything. The lack of symptoms apart from all these nodes... why would I have significantly swollen lymph nodes for three months for no reason?! And one of them looks suspicious. I can't imagine what could cause a node to look that way if not cancer. Follicular lymphoma is hard to differentiate from normal reactive follicular hyperplasia I believe. Why would my nodes be reacting, anyway?! What have they been reacting to for the last three months?!

I don't understand any of this and I'm just getting very worried. I was fine for ages, and assumed the biopsy was correct, but it doesn't make sense any more.

[pulisa]

I'm not even sure it was a mistake, because the diagnosis was only preliminary based on the FNA. That's why he's seeing me again, to check my progress and maybe make a new diagnosis.

It seems like a low grade lymphoma just fits with everything. The lack of symptoms apart from all these nodes... why would I have significantly swollen lymph nodes for three months for no reason?! And one of them looks suspicious. I can't imagine what could cause a node to look that way if not cancer. Follicular lymphoma is hard to differentiate from normal reactive follicular hyperplasia I believe. Why would my nodes be reacting, anyway?! What have they been reacting to for the last three months?!

I don't understand any of this and I'm just getting very worried. I was fine for ages, and assumed the biopsy was correct, but it doesn't make sense any more.

So please save your questions for the Consultant because you are not qualified to make your own diagnosis based on internet studies and Facebook responses. You really aren't. If the Consultant agrees with your theories then you have every right to say "Told Ya So" but until then ..please try not to speculate further?

[O_O]

So please save your questions for the Consultant because you are not qualified to make your own diagnosis based on internet studies and Facebook responses. You really aren't. If the Consultant agrees with your theories then you have every right to say "Told Ya So" but until then ..please try not to speculate further?

Yeah I guess I'll just have to sit tight until Friday.

I don't know why I keep wanting to write everything I'm thinking down. I don't know how I think it'll help.

I don't think it can be Hodgkin's lymphoma or high grade Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma because I'd expect more growth of the nodes, and more symptoms. Low grade NH lymphoma does seem to match though.

I'm not the typical age group for NH lymphoma. And the suspicious node on the side of my neck does appear flatter - no longer a noticeable bump. But it is still very palpable. And who knows what it looks like on ultrasound now. The submandibular lump still seems massive. There is also the smaller one next to it, and one higher up an inch or so down from my ear.

I think he saw one or two others on ultrasound as well.

I am going to try to watch Game Face and not think about it.

[O_O]

I'm doing ok today in that I am functioning normally and getting on with my work. I haven't really been able to eat, though.

I think it could be follicular lymphoma, which is a type of low grade Non-Hodgkin lymphoma.

It's not always easily diagnosed from fine needle aspiration. In fact, FNA should not be used as a diagnostic tool. The node should be excised for analysis, because FNA is so unreliable.

I just don't buy that a node can be round, black, with no hilum and just be reactive. Especially after three months.

I feel that maybe the consultant just wanted to wait a bit longer what with everything that was going down with rona and so told me to come back in 6 weeks in the hope that the nodes may have gone away by then and he wouldn't need to undertake additional diagnostic tests.

He'll also know that if it is follicular lymphoma it won't really make a difference to the prognosis or treatment if I leave it a few months.

I feel quite sick.

[BlueIris]

Jenny, I know it's tough, but find another way to occupy yourself?

Get Friday out of the way, and then I'd be happy to offer you a free jewellery-making class or two if you were interested.

[O_O]

Jenny, I know it's tough, but find another way to occupy yourself?

Get Friday out of the way, and then I'd be happy to offer you a free jewellery-making class or two if you were interested.

Really? That's so nice, thank you! I don't have any stuff to make jewellery from, though?

I think either way something like that would be good.

If I have follicular lymphoma as I suspect then I need to find a way to make the most of my life rather than imploding.

I just want to be able to deal with whatever comes. Whether it's now or later I don't seem equipped to deal with a serious illness.

[BlueIris]

I honestly think you're going to be okay, but I can see why you wouldn't think that. Just try and stay away from your usual researching places if you can? They won't help you in the long run.

[O_O]

I honestly think you're going to be okay, but I can see why you wouldn't think that. Just try and stay away from your usual researching places if you can? They won't help you in the long run.

I know I can't really solve anything by reading studies and papers but I can't seem to stop.

I just want to find out about lymph node appearance... morphology, I suppose. The thing that troubles me the most is how that one node looked. Round, black, no hilum. I know what that means. The consultant even admitted it looked odd. Nobody actually used the word 'suspicious', but I suspect 'odd' is a euphemism.

I just feel like I want to find out whether a node that looks that way really can be something benign. In everything else I've read on this forum where people have had lymph node scares their nodes have always just looked reactive on ultrasound.