Increase in anxiety/panic, when I try to relax!

[ankietyjoe]

Yep, I've been there. There were times where I would have to write down and record what I ate and would force myself to eat 1000 cals per day, that's all I could manage. Something to consider though, undereating forces your body to start running on adrenaline, so that alone is a kind of self sustaining source of anxiety.

The thing to try here is really up the healthy fats. Nuts, seeds, avocado, eggs and even cream and butter. These things are good for you, especially cognitively.

You also don't need to show anybody how bad your attacks are. I know when I had bad anxiety MY attacks were the worst anybody had ever experienced, you know YOURS are the worst anybody has experienced etc. And I've also been where you are now, I would have an attack and it would still with me for days or weeks. IF....I have one now, it's minutes. You can get there too, once you learn not to fear them.

And really, what is there to fear? It's only sensation. Nothing is actually happening, apart from sensation. That's what you need to re-learn.

Going back to food for a bit, if you're pushing yourself with exercise AND under eating, that is a significant, significant stress on your body. Your Psychologist may or may not have picked up on this, but it is absolute truth. You cannot under fuel and over exert without consequence.

[LittleLionMan]

The food thing is a really issue. I'm 6' tall, pretty broad, and currently weight 10 1/2 stone, it looks awful, and I know it isn't helping. I will make a real effort to address this, as I know it's a real problem for me.

Undereating forces your body to run on adrenaline?

It's the cognitive side to mine that frighten me, it's like my mind spirals down a hole and I can't get it back, and don't know where the bottom is going to be, I can't even describe it properly, but that might make sense to someone who's suffered them.

Learning to not fear the panic is obviously the ultimate goal, but I can't even imagine reaching that point, as, like most people, they terrify me.

[ankietyjoe]

The food thing is a really issue. I'm 6' tall, pretty broad, and currently weight 10 1/2 stone, it looks awful, and I know it isn't helping. I will make a real effort to address this, as I know it's a real problem for me.

Undereating forces your body to run on adrenaline?

Yes. A persistent lack of calories puts your body on alert. You're effectively telling it food is scarce and flight or fight starts happening more. This is something you really can make progress with, with some clever eating choices. Do you even know what your calorie intake currently is?

It's the cognitive side to mine that frighten me, it's like my mind spirals down a hole and I can't get it back, and don't know where the bottom is going to be, I can't even describe it properly, but that might make sense to someone who's suffered them.

These feelings are normal. A lot of people who have anxiety experience this, and as scary as it is, it's also harmless. I have had times in the past where I'd recite familiar dates and numbers just to make sure I wasn't losing my mind.

Learning to not fear the panic is obviously the ultimate goal, but I can't even imagine reaching that point, as, like most people, they terrify me.

Well, DO imagine reaching that point. There is more to the phrase 'we are what we think' than you can possibly understand.

My anxiety had me confined to a single room in the house at one point, I was a complete and utter mess. It will get better, but you have to MAKE it get better. Try to understand now that thinking 'if only X was better, I could beat this' does not work. Nothing will get better until you make it get better, and you do that by learning not to fear the thing that it is you are running from. There is no escape from anxiety, you cannot avoid it, so you might as well embrace it and say 'whatever dude'.

[LittleLionMan]

My calorie intake varies, but my appetite is the first thing to go when I get anxious, and I don't think smoking helps with that either.

It's right now where my problem lies. I've been on the edge of a panic attack now for 2 hours, not doing anything remotely anxiety provoking, but I think it's leftovers from this morning. A panic attack isn't coming and the feelings aren't going, so I've effectively been stuck at an 8/10 for 2 hours, and my brain is fried and confused, wondering when it's going to spiral down that hole into panic.

Using my mind to create positive narratives would be helpful, but I can't. These current symptoms are easily the hardest I've ever had to handle.

[ankietyjoe]

Yeah a lot of us have been stuck there too, but it will pass.

Keep track of what you eat from now on. Don't judge it, don't place any negative or positive associations with the results, but give yourself a baseline to work with. As a six foot male who does a lot of running and fretting, you should be at a minimum of 2500 cals per day, but I bet you're barely half that a lot of the time.

What kinds of things do you eat when you do eat?

[LittleLionMan]

Today, 2 bags of Wotsits! 😂

I honestly think this is the problem, because I'm not hungry, and eating feels like the last thing I actually want to do, it's hard to fight through the anxiety and generate the effort to bother preparing something. I'm living in a busy house, so someone always prepares an evening meal which I force down, but sometimes that's all I have in a day.

[ankietyjoe]

Today, 2 bags of Wotsits! 

I honestly think this is the problem, because I'm not hungry, and eating feels like the last thing I actually want to do, it's hard to fight through the anxiety and generate the effort to bother preparing something. I'm living in a busy house, so someone always prepares an evening meal which I force down, but sometimes that's all I have in a day.

I'm not going to suggest that your dietary intake is the only reason you feel like sh1t, but it is a considerable source of stress, for sure.

This is a measurable problem, and sound like the kind of thing you can focus on and work with.

In some respects you need to learn how to eat again. I have had periods where I could barely scrape 500 calories a day, but that's ok if it only lasts a week or two. When it becomes a chronic problem that lasts for months on end, it can impact your health in many ways, which I think is what you're experiencing.

I think your goal should be to make sure you get 1500 cals a day for a week. Depending on your evening meal and snacking habit that may already be happening, but empty calories (crisps, chocolate, crap) are meaningless. If you need any help with this let me know as it's something I had to learn and pay attention to for a long time. There are foods you can eat that are both healthy AND allow you to pack easy calories in, and that's where I think you need to start.

Again, there are more factors at play here, but the fundamental basis of health is good nutrition.

[LittleLionMan]

Everything is starting to add up a bit here (thanks to you!), I have been smoking more lately, which suppresses your appetite, so I've effectively replaced a decent diet with an increased use of a stimulant, and started running a few km every day, and been pushing my anxiety under instruction from my psychologist, all at the same time.

Her idea for me is to get up, go for a run pretty much straight away, have a shower, and then eat breakfast. She wants that as my standard start to a day, to set me off on the right foot. I've been struggling with the breakfast bit, so I'm probably just running on bloody empty.

I started buying breakfast bars to eat, on the days that I really didn't feel like eating anything, to almost take the excuses away. I do however eat lots of empty calories, purely because I am too anxious to prepare and eat proper food.
My evening meal is always taken care of, so I just need to try and take care of the other 2 meals somehow, and get myself eating.

I'm not going to suggest that your dietary intake is the only reason you feel like sh1t, but it is a considerable source of stress, for sure.

This is a measurable problem, and sound like the kind of thing you can focus on and work with.

In some respects you need to learn how to eat again. I have had periods where I could barely scrape 500 calories a day, but that's ok if it only lasts a week or two. When it becomes a chronic problem that lasts for months on end, it can impact your health in many ways, which I think is what you're experiencing.

I think your goal should be to make sure you get 1500 cals a day for a week. Depending on your evening meal and snacking habit that may already be happening, but empty calories (crisps, chocolate, crap) are meaningless. If you need any help with this let me know as it's something I had to learn and pay attention to for a long time. There are foods you can eat that are both healthy AND allow you to pack easy calories in, and that's where I think you need to start.

Again, there are more factors at play here, but the fundamental basis of health is good nutrition.

[ankietyjoe]

Without trying to undermine what your psychologist is saying, I would decide for yourself whether running is what you need to do right now. She is correct in suggesting you get up and carry on with your day as normal, but this work output/nutrition input ratio is significant for you right now.

It's also a bit of a myth that you have to eat breakfast and/or 3 meals a day. If you feel more comfortable eating at a different time, do it. This is more of a holistic bigger picture thing. Your bodily can easily 'run on empty' for a day or two if it has to, it's just far less doable to run on partially empty for weeks or months on end, that's where the damage is done.

Keep track of what you eat from now on, your diet is a problem right now and this is something you already know. Work out exactly what you're eating, and how much of it. Then you can work out a plan of attack, and do something about it. There are certain foods that are hugely nutritionally dense that will give you well over 500cals in one sitting and you'll barely notice eating them. The junk foods (and we all love them) will take away more than they'll give you. The sugar crash alone can make you feel like crap.

[LittleLionMan]

To be honest, going for a run is the only thing that brings me any clarity right now, so I wouldn't want to lose that.

I'm going to try and write a bit of a plan tonight, and stick to it tomorrow, without being too hard on myself (that's my other problem!). I feel like death tonight, my head is all over the place, one of the worst I've been, so I will just try and get through tonight, and give it a proper blast tomorrow, hopefully after a decent nights sleep!

What foods are they?