Have had a bit of a weekend. Mr. Iris did an overnight shift at the election; I was sure he'd said he'd finish at 2am but then at 2.45am his phone was still off, cue insane panic and thoughts about self-harm. He got back to me a little later - he'd finished late - and then I just had to deal with the stress of him walking a couple of miles home across some very dodgy areas, including ours.

At this point I already had some sort of cold/flu covid thing. Sleepless night #1.

Friday I caved and took a sick day, and actually got a little sleep that evening.

Saturday, Mr. Iris came down with what I have and my period showed up unexpectedly forcefully. Woke up every hour worrying about period stuff. Sleepless night #2.

Sunday I was still feeling wobbly and anxious - think particularly bad panic hangover - but I needed to go teach a friend's son how to bead because I'd promised and I knew she was cooking for me. Managed it, albeit I really had to fight the urge to cancel because I was terrified I'd bleed on her furniture. Sunday night, Mr. Iris was coughing all night. Sleepless night #3.

Monday, Mr. Iris had a high temp and my panic kicked in properly. Landed up sobbing for hours and him getting upset with me. Woke up every couple of hours at night but not quite so badly.

Today, Mr. Iris still has a temperature and I'm still scared that one or both of us is going to die of something horrible. In work regardless, zoning in and out but managing to get at least some work done. Boss came for my sickness absence debriefing and tried to convince me I'd get a formal warning if I had more sick time before October (Friday was my second day since mid-October). Double checked staff policy - I'm paranoid about hitting sickness absence triggers - and reassured myself she was wrong. Told her... tactfully.

Right now, still feel like I'm waiting for the worst to happen and desperately wanting more sleep. A fever can last a few days without it being a massively dangerous deal, right?

Link to my favourite poem because I'm really feeling the energy of this one right now.