Heortophobia - fear pf holidays/leaving home

[WEBBS]

Please can anyone help with heortophobia. I go away on Sunday and as per usual and scared silly.

Please any info/experiences would be hugely appreciated.

Webbsx

[lizzie29]

I have this problem. I went to Portugal a couple of years ago for a big family holiday for my dad's birthday and was petrified. But I found once it came to the day, I was better than I thought. I tried to focus on a midway point, e.g. the holiday was 2 weeks, so I focussed on a week cos then I was halfway through. I also had lots of distractions - books, puzzle books, etc etc. And my family were there with kids so they helped too! Also make sure you eat regularly and sleep well, as if I don't they can make my anxiety worse. Hope this helps and you have a great time! x

[WEBBS]

That does help thanks. It's good to know I am not the only one.

I go on holiday ever year and each time go through the same thing before I leave. But I must enjoy it cos I always book again. Right now I can't imagine being able to eat or sleep but I guess nature and instinct will help with that.

Thanks again.
Webbs

[PUGLETMUM]

hi, well i know most things have a name, but i didnt know that was what my fear was called!

i think your being a bit harsh on yourself because as avoidance goes i have never been able to go abroard since having a really bad spell of anxiety in paris when i was 17 - im now 36!!!!!! i have however started to think that going abroard may be an option if i can go away comfortably in the uk first - but i even struggle with that!! so although you are having anticipatory anxiety i would say you are okay if you go away every year, (if i could do that then there would be alot more happiness in my familys life ) - prob would just help though if you could get rid of the actual fear of it, so you could just go away without all the fear in the build up? thats what i would focus on if i were you - as it is for me i have to focus on being able to go further and further in the uk, and with money being tight thats not looking too likely

[WEBBS]

hi, well i know most things have a name, but i didnt know that was what my fear was called!

i think your being a bit harsh on yourself because as avoidance goes i have never been able to go abroard since having a really bad spell of anxiety in paris when i was 17 - im now 36!!!!!! i have however started to think that going abroard may be an option if i can go away comfortably in the uk first - but i even struggle with that!! so although you are having anticipatory anxiety i would say you are okay if you go away every year, (if i could do that then there would be alot more happiness in my familys life ) - prob would just help though if you could get rid of the actual fear of it, so you could just go away without all the fear in the build up? thats what i would focus on if i were you - as it is for me i have to focus on being able to go further and further in the uk, and with money being tight thats not looking too likely

Thanks for your reply emmas. I wish I could say that I screw up all my courage and just go. But I don't I just go on some weird, very traumatised autopilot. I wish I could overcome the anticipatory fear. I know I have control but I just can't find a away to overcome it. And normally I am quite good at that sort of thing.

I see what you are saying tho about there are people who are worse. People like you who can't go away at all. I wish I could help you with that and I sincerely hope you do start going away in the UK. That sounds like a good way to start. And maybe the fact that you are even considering it is surely progress in itself. So well done on that one

Webbs

[Lynnann]

Thanks for your reply emmas. I wish I could say that I screw up all my courage and just go. But I don't I just go on some weird, very traumatised autopilot. I wish I could overcome the anticipatory fear. I know I have control but I just can't find a away to overcome it. And normally I am quite good at that sort of thing.

I see what you are saying tho about there are people who are worse. People like you who can't go away at all. I wish I could help you with that and I sincerely hope you do start going away in the UK. That sounds like a good way to start. And maybe the fact that you are even considering it is surely progress in itself. So well done on that one

Webbs

Hi Webbs,

It is the difficulty with anxiety and it does sound like you have a good time when you get there, what is it that scares you about going away? Is there something specific?

Although you say you go onto Auto pilot and you are still functioning which gets you there it doesn't help you much in the lead up to your trip.

Have you had a word with your GP perhaps some counselling or CBT might help to address the underlying cause of your anxiety and the effect it has; I know it won't help in time for this year but it could make next year easier?

Lynnann

[PUGLETMUM]

hiya webbs/all, i see that you actually dont enjoy your hols reallly then in the true sense of the word - i know the autopilot feeling well, but i dont think i could tolerate that feeling so far away from home and 'security' - i can cope here because i know i can ge thome and ofcourse we feel at home in our own country (well mostly!)

cbt would help, because for a start you can now say to your self well i do go! so that is changing your thoughts about your situation from one of doom and gloom to actually very positive thoughts about how strong you must be if you can tolerate feeling like this every year!

then like lynnann said you can examine the thoughts around your fear more closely and you can challenge them in the same way - eg 'what am i afraid will happen/ i will feel? how likely is this? has it ever happened before? how well did i cope? and in the event of something majorly bad happening you know you would cope fine anyway as most of us would when push comes to shove!

do yo mind me asking how your fear began and what it actually is you are afraid of? is it now a case of not being afraid of anything - just that every time you appraoch the situation your mind begind to sound alarm bells?

[WEBBS]

hiya webbs/all, i see that you actually dont enjoy your hols reallly then in the true sense of the word - i know the autopilot feeling well, but i dont think i could tolerate that feeling so far away from home and 'security' - i can cope here because i know i can ge thome and ofcourse we feel at home in our own country (well mostly!)

cbt would help, because for a start you can now say to your self well i do go! so that is changing your thoughts about your situation from one of doom and gloom to actually very positive thoughts about how strong you must be if you can tolerate feeling like this every year!

then like lynnann said you can examine the thoughts around your fear more closely and you can challenge them in the same way - eg 'what am i afraid will happen/ i will feel? how likely is this? has it ever happened before? how well did i cope? and in the event of something majorly bad happening you know you would cope fine anyway as most of us would when push comes to shove!

do yo mind me asking how your fear began and what it actually is you are afraid of? is it now a case of not being afraid of anything - just that every time you appraoch the situation your mind begind to sound alarm bells?

Hi

Well I made it back - phew I was a brave girl

I don't know how or why this fear started. I have tried to trace it back but come up with nothing. There is a big difference tho when I am away in this country - when I know I can get home easily. And yet I am not afraid of flying.

Webbs
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