hello, posted this on wrong forum

[tiredOfOcd]

Hi folks

I posted this on the Health Anxiety forum yesterday. Then I saw there was an introductions forum and realized I posted incorrectly. Sorry about that. I'm kinda in the throes of some health anxiety and wanted to unburden myself.

I've been suffering from HA for the last 2 years. I'm already obsessive compulsive, which may have arisen as an attempt to soothe myself.

Here's what started me off 2 years ago. I had pneumonia and the dr said "we're going to take a closer look at it because it doesn't look like most pneumonia infections"

The real live dr mentioned radon and lung cancer so I went right off to Dr. Google. Dr. Google said lung cancer (despite the fact I've never smoked actively or passively). Lots of anxiety and a CAT scan later - it was confirmed to be pneumonia.

Then my physical therapist found a lump in my groin (I was being treated for tendonitits). Her reaction scared the daylights out of me. The dr wasn't much better "I don't know. Go see this surgeon."

Lots of reading about lymphoma later, I had it taken out and it turned out to be - "a thick patch of skin, like someone had been rubbing the spot real hard for a while"

Ooops. That's exactly what I was doing. I guess poking and prodding your body isn't a good idea.

Then I turned 40. Although I've never considered 40 as "old" (even when I was much younger) I looked at it as the start of middle age and declining health and increased risk of cancer.

Now I get scared witless by any bump that doesn't "belong"

I've sought help. My psychiatrist recommended a psychologist who helped me get a handle on this earlier this year. I'm much better.

But 4 months ago I found what I think is a cyst at the area where my chin meets my neck. I was in a good place anxiety wise, and the rule (according to a book about taking care of your health is) "most skin lumps and bumps are harmless. Mention them to your dr at your next visit. But there's no need to run right out and get it checked"

So that's what I did. Now my yearly physical is about 6 weeks away and my anxiety (that always increases before my physical) is increasing that I've done the wrong thing by waiting and I've actually got a bad problem I'VE MADE WORSE. Sunday Dr. Google said things like "larynx cancer" and "go get lumps checked out" which has made me worry more.

Isn't this just great?

Its turned into an hour by hour struggle.

[Veronica H]

to NMP. You will find really good information and support here. Glad that you have found us.

Veronica

[tiredOfOcd]

Hi and welcome to nmp
there is lots of info help and support here also a great chatroom which you can access after being a member for 5 days hope to see you in there
take care

Thanks for letting me know about the chatroom.

I think though, I've got to be careful. Its possible for a conversation about my health anxiety to turn into a "just reassure me so I'm not afraid of being sick" kind of thing.

What helped me yesterday was reading the HA section under Health Worries. I kind of underlined the fact that I've got to keep on guard for the kind of downward spiral in my thinking that led to the low point on Sunday. It seems I get into trouble when I lose the awareness that its easy for me to let my health worries get out of control. IOW I'm at a point where I'm free from anxiety so having to guard against anxiety slips my mind and I start to fall into the pattern of notice something-worry about it.

Does that make any sense?