Well guys

Despite my anticipatory anxiety over the past weeks, I made it back to my old home town for a 4 day stay with my old school friend Jackie. On the train going 'up North' little old me 5ft nothing with a case the same size! Son said 'you look like Paddington bear mum in your winter coat'...aww. Trips down memory lane and being reunited with many old friends, together with meals out and even a Psychic Fayre (which was a new experience for me!) had taken their toll by Sunday afternoon. I had a 'blip' as my heart started to race. My friend has been told in detail about my panic anxiety and is very understanding ( It is important to be open with people about anxiety as this reduces any tension). We took a rest and I spoke to my recovery buddy Ronski ....what a good mate he is. I have not taken Betablockers for some time and so had not packed any, and only had my Diazipam with me. After a reassuring chat I took the Diazipam and started to calm down.There is no substitute for the understanding that a fellow sufferer can bring.(for NMP).

I was able to get back on track and overall had a very good time. Things I have learned;

As the great Dr Weekes says 'A journey made with panic is as valuable as a journey made without it'. She is right too that we should 'practice and not test' ourselves. If we feel we have failed some test then we are likely to withdraw from future challenges.

I need to trust my instincts more. I knew that I was getting tired but pushed on instead of taking a quiet half hour.

Pack the Betablockers. Just for comfort. I have to say though that I did not rush home and swallow them. I have not taken them, but when I'm travelling again and my heart starts beating at 120 (which seems to be what happens to me during an attack) then I would not hesitate to do so. Also take an ipod, book, bottled water and whatever else helps to soothe during a long journey.

Keep getting out and about everyone as we must not let anxiety stop us from living our lives. hugs to all.

Veronica