Complaints Box: post your daily moans...

[bottleblond]

Thankyou Mel. I have already shredded 679 complaints today already. I think the shredder has just given up the ghost as it just groaned and came to a grinding halt on complaint no: 451 issue no: 236 paragraph 13.
Any chance of getting a replacement tomorrow out of the petty cash?

[KK77]

I have found IOUs in the petty cash box signed by Miss Foxy XX. One receipt was for "baby pink negligee" and black suspender-belt and stockings totalling £105.99. There were also 26 receipts for Smirnoff Black Label and 15 for JDs totalling £289. We are in a slump still and cannot afford this. Please stick to beer and wearing Lisa's garments in future Brenda.

We have ordered a new shredder which is linked automatically to all complaints now so we can dress up in womens clothes, get pissed and do f*ck all more often.

All complaints will still be dealt with in the normal way (and shredded).

[bottleblond]

Huh...Well the Vodka ain't mine! i wouldn't touch that stuff with someone elses nevermind me own. As for the other stuff, you may find that is Brenda's too...If you note the size on those garments you will see size 22. I hope you are not insinuating that i am a size 22?! tsk the cheek of it.

[KK77]

It was actually size 26 and said "Men's Friends" on the label which made me think. After doing a search I have found it's a company specialising in "women's clothes for over-sized men and rugby players". I thought it may have been Mick ... I mean Brenda ... but I'm not sure yet. I will get to the bottom of it - this isn't a cover-up, I can assure you.

You have a new complaint on your desk but leave it till next month now (it's another spider complaint pfffft).

[KK77]

I must also complain that I'm now off for a Chinese. I had one last week and she stayed the night.

[bottleblond]

Brenda has alot to answer to

[yvonne_uk_98]

Hi,

complaining about busy day tomorrow, need to take my son with me, three brains will be better than two. plus senior citizen lunch club, going there to help serve, he can help too. hope I feel better tomorrow. maybe will lift my mood complain there is never enough helppers for the senior citizens lunch club.

Yvonne

[bottleblond]

Yvonne

As you are helping with the lunch club and being very charitable, i will put your complaint to the top of the complaints list. This will then go to Mike who will pass it to Muck who will then pass it to me then on to Mick and lastly on to Brenda before going through the whole system again only to be lost.

[KK77]

Thank you Lisa. Serious complaints are usually passed to me whereby I put them on the top of the bottom of the pile. We still haven't dealt with Brenda's paper cut and that was weeks ago.

Also at the top of the bottom pile is Nic's curtain complaint. There have been reports of a pair of similar curtains dumped in a nearby skip and rumours that Nic couldn't be bothered to iron them and bought new ones.

You see, Mel never forgets a complaint and the bottom of the pile is always located close to the guillotine (ready for chopping).

There are also rumours that Brenda is now using Lisa's hair-dye and has gone Bottleblond.

EDIT: Lisa has found her hair-dye (phew). (It was in Muck's drawer so Brenda is innocent. Apologies...)

[SWEETP]

why do i have to take panic attacks as its ruined my life have had them 6 years in hate it