I try, but my mind is so convincing :'(, and with all my friends going off to university soon, and the pressure of me finding a job and losing all my friends and then the health anxiety is just too much for me to cope with :'( sometimes I genuinely feel like harming myself, but I can rationalise those thoughts and tell myself not to, but the thoughts of losing friends and the possibility of cancer.. Its so frightening, my sleeping pattern is all over the place, iv stopped doing hobbies such as seeing friends, going to the gym, gaming, drinking with friends all because of some ****ing lymph nodes, sorry for cursing. Its just all getting to me and the doctor I had offered me no advice for my anxiety or depression only medication.

I just feel like im zoned out and everyone is moving on in life and im stuck in a hole where ill be for the rest of my life, convincing myself iv barely got a year to live because im suffering from late stages of cancer because iv left it so long.