terrified of cancer

[pete24]

hi my problems started about 18 months ago when i started irrationally started checking for lumps in my testicles ,moles on my skin and blood in my stools.this progressively got worse and i was prescribed 5 different antideppressants including prozac.none of them worked.I saw a physcologist and this worked for a while until i was abandoned due to hospital budget.Things are so bad now i may go to the toilet 20 times a day to check for blood in my stool and my body is covered with plasters to cover imaginary moles HELP

[constantworrier418]

hi - i totally understand how you are feeling, it's constant stream of health worries isn't it? you get the reasurrance for one concern and then you think you're over it and another one comes along just as quick. I'm battling too, trying to fight the worry that comes everyday and I've got to the stage where I cannot touch certain areas of my body (breasts, underarms etc) for fear that I may imagine i can feel a lump and it will send me into a frenzy of checking and worrying until I can get a dr's app for reassurance. I'm contemplating going back on venaflaxin as that really helped last year, but then what happens when I need to come off of it? just don't know what to do for the best.

I suppose I'm just trying to say I'm here if you need to chat - I hope we can both get through this as i spend most waking hours worrying about some form of cancer and its a shit existence.
x

[KATYB]

Is there any particular aspect of cancer or just cancer itself that worries you?

I always was so scared myself due to cancer worries when I was a teenager due to the following: I had a breast reduction and of course some tissue was seriously dodgy so had to be tested thankfully the results came back ok, I didnt have it, but someone close to me has now got it bad, and because of him and my obsessions I've looked it all up, however, I'm the type of person that once I know whats what I can prepare myself for the worst and cope with it if it happens. I understand his treatment and everything and know what they will do to make him comfortable.

[pete24]

hi constantworrier and katyb know exactly how you both feel but we alL WANT ANSWERS.I was going to ac dc concert last year but could not look forward to it as i worried that i might find something i did not like and it would ruin the day.I cannot plan a holiday as it could all be ruined by one visit to the toilet.....crazy i know.No one knows how illogical all this is more than me.i think my problems might be guilt as i feel guilty about everything.I dont have answers yet but if i do iwill post online or if you want any help i will x

[indigo]

I can inderstand the constant trips to the toilet to check for blood, but as i am a womaan i was check for both areas! I was so scared to go sometimes just incase i found something that would send me spiralling.

I still have the anxiety but its in the background somewhere, all the thoughts cross my mind fleetingly, even when i go for a bath or get undress just incase i find something new!!!!!

It's almost as if i am scared of myself....constantly!

[ellie_C_mason1990]

i am the same, it only seems to be cancer that i am scared of, no other diseases. i wear plasters for my moles, wear long sleeves, when it gets really bad and can't take baths anymore :(
have you tried keeping a worry diary? i find it helps especially with moles. if i notice anything that suddenly looks dodgy I write about it, then weeks later if I am still worrying, I can see how long ago the worry started and check the mole again. As always, I find that the mole hasnt changed for the worse so has just always been that way.
I hope that makes sense?

[MrBlue]

hi there, you're not alone, i too suffer from this hyperchondria and it's terrible, i've been to the doctors many times over the past few weeks, i found a very small lump on my testicles and basically cried over it for a good hour and a half and went to the doctor and he checked my testicles and said everything was fine and there is nothing wrong, i was so relieved!

but then another health worry comes doesn't it, any pain i get in my torso i automatically fear for the worst, i can't go out with my friends in fear of something severe happening like heart attack or fainting! basically this is ruining my life, i hope to get counselling for this soon so i can overcome this horrible feeling.

i know how you feel, if you ever want a chat i'm here for you! x

[pete24]

hi everybody in reply to ypour kind thoughts ican only understand completly about this taking over ones life.T o ellie c icannot keep a diary as i need instant reassuarances and time goes so slowly when its sheer bloody panic.to mr blue i thought i found alump on my testicles and spent all evening panicing till i went to a and e....inever touch my testicles now as its a battle you cannot win as you are never satisfied there is no lump even after 1 or 2 hours of feeling ones self.to indigo i would say your problems are similar to mine and that its not always about finding blood in ones stool[piles or soreness from constantly going to the toilet]but that it can ruin youre whole day if youre stool is not perfect.Crazy i know but i dread going to loo and finding anything.....i even avoid eating red food like tomatoes or peppers x

[indigo]

Me too. I once ate a lot of beetroot and then obviously had red poo, i pick it out of the toilet and rushed to the doctor and they could see nothing wrong, i must have looked like a complete and utter looney!!!!!

[pete24]

hi indigo i know its a constant battle.....like one of them fairground games where things pop up and you hit them with rubber hammer then it pops up somewhere else.....you sought one thing out in your head and then the doubts start up x