ilness or anxiety. happiness or madness??!!!

[holly23]

ive not panicked in a while.... but ive been really ill and today had a moment. am i confusing illness with anxiety?? im all blocked and miserable. also due to recent event, things i would have normally freaked about but havent i have thoughts occasionally were i think....if i not panicking does that mean ive lost my mind? im acting happy and it scares me cause i not used to it. i am doing things like chatting to myself, looking in the mirroe and acting foolish. commentating things i do or how i feel etc. are these signs of madness or am i just looking for trouble cause actually its gone.
i dont wanna go backwards..... i want to cry! just to release this excess energy. caan anyone help?xx am i just being silly.?x

[Electric_Worry]

The short answer: you're being silly.

The longer answer: Just because you've not panicked in a while doesn't mean you are free from anxiety nor will ever have another attack. It doesn't mean you will definitely have one, but little moments of anxiety are perfectly normal for the majority of people. You're not used to being happy and so you immediately think there must be something wrong (what with happiness not being common place). As for talking to yourself, that's perfectly normal. I do it countless times a day and I often have a running commentary if I find myself overly bored. Most people with mirrors have acted foolish in front of them; again, I pull stupid faces every day. Everything you've described could not be more painfully normal if you tried. In fact, you're worrying because you're acting normal. Think about that one.

[skin]

if that is mad, than my 19 years of anxiety-free life were madness and the shitty-anxiety-panic life is normal!

[holly23]

you have a point. thankyou for all your comments. im feeling better today. i suppose we all feel like a time bomb at points. ..never knowing when it will explode. ...xxxx