Brill

One of the worst effects of depression is that it destroys all feelings of self-worth and self-esteem. I used to refer to myself as 'walking failure'... Maybe you feel like you have to fight and you don't have the strength now and then you'll add that as another failure to the list - talk about a vicious circle. Try to relax and observe your mind when the depression-program (as I call it) kicks in - tell yourself 'this is depression at work - it's not a reflection of reality', don't allow depression to define you. You're a loving and caring father and husband (otherwise you wouldn't worry so much about your family, you wouln't post here expressing gratitude and offering help to others) despite the depression and agoraphobia. Crying in your situation is not a weakness but a sign of strength and emotional power, take hope from your tears!