Originally Posted by
weevil
And miserable.
Not that I'm begging for some, I was given a week to decide whether I wanted to try mirtazapine. Anti depressants used to work a bit and then stop. But the last 3 I tried had a bad reaction, totally changing my thoughts and mostly making me hurt or want to hurt myself. I don't have much time before someone decides whether I'm stable enough to go back to Uni and didn't want to waste it on another drug that might do the same thing. Mirtazapine didn't sound nice from other people's experiences, especially the drowsiness which I definitely don't want right now.
But I barely had to refuse it, in the meantime my GP had read the list of behaviour I'd given another doctor over the phone when I realised how mad it all was and got worried. She said with out of control highs I shouldn't be on any anti-depressants. A psychologist has already said I'm possibly too complicated for just her and now my GP said the same.
I think I'm bi bolar, the recent behaviour was rare as it wasn't caused by any medication. And now I've crashed and I'm miserable. Yet I had anxiety then and I have it now, it's worse now but you wouldn't know because I don't show physical signs. I'm just scared to go out, talk to people, use the phone and barely have any energy so am laying down a lot and just want to sleep.
I kind of want meds now, just to stop this.