Day 9 Wednesday 22-08-2012
Got more sleep last night but things not getting better during the day
It seems I can sleep pretty much most of the day- I am weighed down by a gloomy grey duvet of dread and lifelessness – it seems to start to lift about 3 pm and then by 5-6 things are getting better. I have this every day but thanks to the Pregabalin it is without the anxiety which to be honest was pushing me over the edge. I just feel that my whole biological clock is completely out of whack. I need my 3pm to be happening at 8 am!
Anyway I hjave ordered melatonin from OZ and I will trial the tangerine glow of f.lux J
7am Progabalin 150mg
8pm Progabalin 300mg
Day 10 Thursday 23-08-2012
I accidentally took 300 mg pregabalin last night (forgot I had taken dose already) and today was the best day I have had in months - co-incidence? anyway I was up early (11am – okay not early for a normal person but early for me given my recent sleep issues) went swimming then to work – then home to move another cubic meters of pebbles for my backward (I know a very exciting life)… more importantly I have not felt tired or anxious or depressed- a little sad but once again compared to recent times it was a dramatic improvement- in a crazy way I get nervous when I feel good! It’s so unusual for me and such a relief that I am scared that it is going to be taken away from me – I am scared I will lose it! I should be grateful for the days – hours – minutes?? when I don’t feel like the world is collapsing on top of me! It would be good to feel okay and be relaxed about it (I assume that’s what a lot of people without significant mental health issues feel) but maybe they don’t even appreciate feeling okay – or even good because they don’t spend so much times trapped in a dark anxiety ridden blanket so they don’t have the “fresh” memories of how bad it can get – and as a consequence can’t really appreciate how good it is to just feel okay??? - does that makes some sense is it overtly over analytical gibberish
Hanshan – I know what you are getting at – my brother works “dogwatch” in a coal mine in OZ and he is fine with his very “abnormal” sleep cycle- I work in a position where I have to be at work at 8 am so getting out of bed at 1pm 2 pm 5 pm !! etc isn’t really going to work. If i worked 5pm to 3 am that would be perfect and i would not be as stressed by my sleep pattern – BUT today was better so fingers crossed
I am going to try the 300 mg dose again tonight
7am Progabalin 150mg
8pm Progabalin 300mg
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