Hiya Dee
no youre not being a pain......
yes,the up and down feelings are all normal,everything you say sounds like me 12 months ago...
its gunna be ok, so enjoy feeling 'normal' again,even if its short lived.....try not to worry about your off days too much......theyre usually followed by a good day....and remember the bad days will soon be a distant memory and most days will be good.....youre slowly getting through this....it will happen!!!
sorry i didnt get back online last night,I just started a new job recently..... went for a lie down....and fell asleep! definitely good...as sleep was impossible for me 6 months ago...day or night.Im loving my new job,i feel part of society again and feel very proud to have come through it all....its so good to be happy again.it will happen for you too,just believe in yourself