I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years in May. We have had our ups and downs but I am getting concerned as I feel as though I will never be entirely happy.
I feel like such an awful person, but I'm always looking for something "more", some "excitement" almost as if I need some escapism.

He's such a steady, reliable man and he has a very good job and I know he would never leave me.
However, it never seems enough. The spark isn't as strong as it was when we first started going out together but is that normal after 5 years or more?

I struggle with the concept of staying with one person for the rest of my life. I have never and would never cheat on him but this feeling is eating me up.
I've recently met someone online and although we are just friends, we have so much in common and I'm starting to feel something for him. I know it's probably all fantasy and in reality I am better off with my current boyfriend but I feel there is a real lack of excitement.
I have extreme ideas and expectations of what love and relationships are I think. I blame the amount of fictional literature I read.

This has happened in the past during previous relationships. So I'm worried I will never be truly happy and spend my life searching for "the one".