Hello everyone

I'm not sure where I left off in my last thread, so I'll start over. Basically, over a year ago, I went into depression that has lingered and remained ever since, with almost daily (except a week or two over the 13 month period) of harming myself, taking my life and feeling like a failure to my parents, myself and husband. I went to the doctor who has put me on Sertraline 50mg, which is doing OK at the moment, and refered me for counselling.

To help myself I have started knitting more, only being able to garter knit squares I can now do most things around knitting and people at work are asking me to knit them bits and pieces, which is great focusing my mind. I keep up with my writing, but it has proven difficult this year.

So, anyway... I did an assessment over the phone and I have scored mild anxiety and severe depression, what I said has alarmed my doctor and wants to see me ASAP. I keep getting phone calls from the counselling service about appointments during the working week when I have said time and time again that I work Monday to Friday and go to college on Tuesdays. There seems to be no service that can provide me evening or weekend help.

My manager at work has already done more than enough for me at work by allowing me Tuesday evenings off for college and has also allowed me to start work later or finish earlier to attend counselling session 'for a short period of time only'. The problem is that the counselling service says that I need long term counselling, but if I cannot my first appointment then how can I get counselling long term?

I'm a bit nervous talking to my manager about this problem, because I feel like I am asking a lot, and I fear that I will be given an ultimatum: quit college or cut hours, neither which I can do. I do not finish college until June and I fear it will be too long a wait.

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH.... what to do???