I've had anxiety/panic/OCD for over 2 and half years now and about 4 months ago I got an intrusive thought that brought me to my depression. Whilst I was in the black whole I had many obsessive thoughts that for some reason I could not escape. It all started when I felt trapped in the world and trapped in my self. It then continued when I started having thoughts about Solipsism, and that people may not be real and I'm the only one really living, these thoughts really led me to depression. I then continued to surf the internet and came across Schizophrenia, nothing scared me more. I was very convinced I had schizophrenia. I became very paranoid. Every time I would hear a noise I would make sure other people heard it too and I used to get a taste in my mouth in which I would freak out about. And I would get scared when I smelt something and I couldn't find where the smell was coming from. After all the searching I basically learnt every symptom of schizophrenia. Although It is not until just recently I have been having what I would call delusional thoughts. At first I thought someone could be controlling me, when I got rid of that thought the thought that other could be controlled came to my mind. And I am aware that they are delusional thoughts although I'm not entirely sure if I believe them or not. I don't know whether I am having them because I've just read that others have these thoughts. But I have to admit there is a little part of me the believes them. I am only 15 years old and I am terrified for my life. Please someone help me in any way possible I am so scared, I don't know what's wrong with me and as much as I tell myself the thoughts are not real they still come back and make me depressed. I am terrified that I may be forming some sort of psychosis.

I should add that no one has noticed anything unusual about me. I keep telling my mother to call the psychiatrist although the psychiatrist I was referred to is on a 4 week leave and I feel like it is about any time I am going to lose complete control and become insane. I don't think I can wait 4 weeks because what if by then I completely believe my delusional thoughts.