Hi Everyone,

I have had agoraphobia for 10 years on and off. It fired up again back in November. I am 8 months pregnant with 2 kids under 4, so I am sure hormones and stress have something to do with it.

I understand anxiety, I understand panic, I understand the physiology, I know it won't hurt me, it is harmless, etc.

However I have one BIG hurdle that I cannot seem to get over - I am afraid of having a panic attack away from home. Period. End of story. The farther I am away from home, the scarier it is. I envision myself in X place, X distance away. I imagine a panic attack happening and because this really scares me I lack the confidence in feeling as though I can manage the fear and feelings. I worry I will succumb to it and have to suffer through the deep regret and feeling of being trapped etc until I get home. Rapid heart rate, shakes, etc. that stuff doesn't bother me. What does is thinking about possibly panicking all the way home :/ There are 2 things that are true: 1) I can't get home until X time passes and 2) I am afraid of feeling those feelings being away. Due to this I cannot move forward.

I am totally cool with feeling them at home, I am not afraid of anxiety and panic at home. It has no hold on my life, it is boring and unimportant. It can come anytime here and I am good. Zero fear. I just cannot apply this to the outside world. I think it is because the attacks are so intense when I am out because I am trapped. When I am out and have an attack it is like a level 8 out of 10 - I want to run, I want to flee, I want to get to the ER, I want to hide in the bathroom, I feel as though I have made the worst, most horrendous mistake.

If I can just get over this notion of home as my safety zone I could be free!

Changing your thoughts when it comes to anxiety changes your life...all it takes is looking at something differently and things get better. However, I cannot wrap my head around this one. I need enlightenment.........

Thank you!