Hi all,
I hope if you are reading this that you are keeping well even though I'm sure you are going through a tough time right now.
I have suffered with anxiety and panic attacks since I was a child and now at almost 22 years of age, I feel I have learnt a great deal in learning to control and manage my anxiety wherein I no longer see it as the enemy. I have always promised myself that if I ever found 'a way' to alleviate anxiety and panic attacks then I would share it with other people in order to give something back and to help others in being free of their suffering which is why I wanted to write this post for you.
As a brief background on me during my 6+ years of anxiety, I have taken various medications on multiple occasions, been expelled from school (for poor attendance and attitude mainly due to panic attacks during the school day) tried changing my diet, turned to drugs and alcohol where I was hardly sober for 2 years, confided in others, lost friends, had my heart broken, sought counselling, made money, quit jobs, and, been fried.
Yet, I am still here! And so are you. So allow me to share my top tips with you which helped me get to where I am today.
1) The Power of Now: You may or may not have heard of this life-changing book by Eckhart Tolle, however, if you haven't I can not recommend it enough. I always wished I could be someone that recommended a book to others stating that it transformed my life and having read this, I honestly can. I know there is always an element of scepticism when someone highly recommends a book or product but, no matter how open or close minded you are, religious or agnostic, spiritual or non-spiritual this book will REALLY transform your thinking. I really don't think I can do the book or the author justice by attempting to explain but ultimately it REALLY helped me look at things from a different perspective and gain MUCH greater control of my emotions. I can guarantee you, if you have not read this book before YOU WILL learn so many more new things about yourself. Ultimately, in a nutshell, one of the books core principles is to teach you that you are NOT your mind and that the majority of our suffering comes as a result of identifying it. Do NOT take your thoughts so seriously, but rather observe them as the witness of those thoughts. Notice how much of a change the principles will bring to your life, I cannot recommend it highly enough.
2) Meditation: Meditating has basically allowed me to practise the principles outlined in the Power of Now. Just like going to the gym will train your muscles, meditating will train your brain and allow you to gain much greater control of your mind and emotions. The aim is to reduce thinking and not get dragged/sucked in to any story as the result of an impending thought. Rather, notice that like clouds, thoughts come and go and you do not need to follow every one. Similar to when a negative thought arises or a feeling of anxiety creeps up, you learn that you do not need to let it consume you by PRACTISING awareness. There are some cool apps you can download (Headspace is a good one and free) OR go on YouTube search for any meditation music of your choice and plug your headphones in. I have found 10 minutes a day to be helpful so far and although it is difficult in the beginning it eventually becomes a habit as you train yourself to get into the routine of doing it.
3) Journal: As a guy, I always felt ashamed to start a journal but have found that writing down my thoughts and feelings greatly helped. I do this after every meditation sessions as it's usually where my mind has great clarity and I make certain realizations. A lot of the time we are anxious and we don't know why, so writing things down usually helps. Notice any patterns or continuous thoughts that you have? It has been proven that most of the thoughts we experience are the same ones day to do, and given anxiety stems from a thought, writing things down can help you spot what thought you are having that is keeping you in this anxiety inducing loop.
4) FEAR IS ALWAYS DIVORCED FROM ANY IMMEDIATE DANGER: In simple terms, perhaps this is the most important one. This is also taken from The Power of Now. If you are experiencing fear, know that it means that there is nothing happening right NOW and therefore there is no reason to fear fear itself. I used to meet fear with more fear when I felt it but now, knowing that feeling fear means that there is no immediate danger and rather it is a build up of what might happen, I am no longer afraid of it. That does not mean that it doesn't arise, but when it does it no longer has any control over me as I know it can't do anything! How many panics have you had? How many times have you died?
5) THERE IS NO GOOD AND BAD, ONLY HOW WE LABEL THINGS: 99% of the time we blame external circumstances for the way that we feel. Really, our feelings is based on how WE CHOSE to interpret certain events.
"What is at the root of this unhappiness I feel all the time? And then you may be amazed to realize that in most cases when you are unhappy, you're not unhappy because of something that's happening in your life; you're unhappy because of what your mind is telling you about it. It's not a situation or an event that makes you unhappy but your mental commentary about it, the voice in your head."
I really have just written this on a whim so I apologise if I have failed to articulate this post well or adequately explain or do justice to any of the teachings I have wished to share with you. In retrospect I realize most of the principles can all be found in the Power of Now and so once again, I greatly recommend giving it a read. It is not so easy to comprehend/understand/explain which is why books have been written on such principles but I hope that this post may give you the boost to explore them further.
To conclude, as hard as it may be to accept or see in the midst of suffering, I believe anxiety is trying to teach us a message. You cannot expect change if you do not make a change and that change needs to come from changing a negative belief that you have.
Please feel free to PM me if I can explain these points any further or if you have any questions. I am here for all of you, so please stay hopeful and know if you are here now, you CAN change. It might take a little practise but it is possible and to deny that is nothing but an untrue thought
EDIT: As you can see below from the other 2 posts perhaps most importantly is to know YOU ARE NOT YOUR MIND. Many people think that they are, they believe their mind and take it so seriously which is why so much pain is in their lives. Ask yourself; how many times has my mind been wrong? "I'm not good enough", "Im definitely going to fail", "I'm going to die"... the mind is NOT always right. Emotion is created where THOUGHT MEETS THE BODY therefore, if you are 'unconscious' that is to say, not aware that you are NOT your mind, then you will likely be sucked into the minds (also known as ego) false made reality. If I have a twinge of anxiety, I am aware of it and I think to myself, what thought created that feeling? And then, I am able to be more aware of WHY I feel the way I do and what beliefs I am holding that make feel anxious/angry/scared or whatever the feeling may be. Once again this is all outlined in The Power of Now and it really changed my life and my thinking which is why I have been so keen to share it with you. I don't know if I'm the first and I'm sure I wont be the last, but given how it has helped me I feel a responsibility to share the peace the teachings have given me with others so that you can too
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