My parents, my sister and myself are at home together for New Year.

I hate NY and my family are aware already of that, and I tend to keep it low key and myself to myself and spend most of the time up in my bedroom.

Today had been a nice day, watching tv, chatting, etc. until I mentioned to my sister that I would watch the fireworks on tv upstairs, and then come down to wish all a Happy New Year.

She didn't like this. She said 'so in other words, after midnight?'

I said 'Well you know what I meant, just after the fireworks'.

She then blew up on me, saying that they all have to do what i want every year, because I don't like NY, and that I was selfish and that she was sick of 'Debbie's mental health problems' being 'kowtowed to' all of the time, and how they all have to walk on eggshells around me. She got near hysterical, got right in my face as if to hit me, and then stormed off to another room.'

I feel so upset, guilty about having mental problems - which do affect my mood at this time of year - and like I am a drain and an annoance for my whole family.

I am typing this sobbing to be honest. My sister is an overachiever, and we are poles apart. I have never shaped up to her, and she has never been a disappointment to anyone....and then there is me. I feel like a loser and a cause of grief for everyone.

What was a relatively good day for me - usually I cannot even get out of bed during NY because of my low mood, has turned awful.