Hey people. I've had a rocky couple of weeks and I thought I come here to try and remind myself I'm not losing it, completely.
I have been dealing with lots of anxiety and depersonalisation, and more also more recently intrusive obsessional thoughts that I could harm someone. It's gutting. I feel like I can't allow myself to stop monitoring my thoughts because either I'll become a danger to people without knowing it, or I'll be 'judged' in some way. Does anyone with depersonalisation feel guilty or scared about doing enjoyable things? I feel like I have such low self esteem that for some reason I cant enjoy life incase it all goes wrong.
Also, I have become scared that since I feel so unreal and not in control, that maybe I will start hearing or seeing things that aren't there, so I sometimes cant bear to watch the tv etc. I guess this is paranoia, when I do watch TV it always seems to be about mental health issues and stuff, which just seems so ironic and seems to fuel the paranoia. Does anyone else ever feel like this? Like your in the center of something not real or that they don't know if they're in control?
Sorry for the rant!