(Sorry this is quite long but it's good to get it all out!)
Ive just been diagnosed with anxiety and am being referred for counselling in a couple of weeks time. I've been feeling symptoms of anxiety for a while, on and off for the past year but lately I can't seem to shake it.

I'm worried that this post could maybe cause anxiety in others who feel excessively responsible towards others wellbeing so please don't carry on reading if that's you!

My anxiety revolves around feeling excessively responsible towards other people (especially complete strangers!) I've always been the type of person to worry if I've upset someone or said something that's been taken the wrong way but now it's like my mind thinks up worst case scenarios if I make the slightest mistake. And then I feel excessively guilty and can't seem to shake it no matter how much deep down I know it's completely and totally irrational. This has extended to thinking about everyday minor mistakes or misjudgements made in the past and feeling excessively guilty about these too.

I think a lot of this comes down partly to a part time job I had when I was 16 onwards working in a hospital cafe. My supervisor would patronise me by explaining how important cleanliness was as 'dirt' could get into the food and a sick person could eat it and get really ill, so obviously this made me paranoid and worried about managing hygiene well enough.

So now I seem to latch onto things I read in the media and worry about them, one of the biggest fears I have (thanks to more scaremongering stories in the press) is causing someone to have a heart attack by startling them say by making an error when driving (even really minor errors), or even just beeping a horn, or appearing from round a corner when someone isn't expecting it etc. Writing this I can see how excessive this is but I can't shake the worry. I also drudge up memories from the past from when I've made people jump and worry myself sick that they could have had a heart attack and feel like it would all be my fault. 😒 I think my anxiety has latched onto this idea as there's no way to find out if this could be a possibility or not so the doubt element is right up there.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far, I'd be keen to hear from others with similar anxieties, or anyone who has got over it and has any advice. Many thanks