Hello everyone, today I received a letter from the PIP saying that I scored zero points on everything and that I will no longer be getting DLA. It was also followed by his/her reasons for not awarding me PIP. Their report on me was a pack of vile lies.

Before I write down lines from their report as well as my rebuttals, I will tell you that I have been suffering from anxiety, depression, moderate learning difficulties like ADHD as well as a sleep disorder for many years to the point that I can not go out without my carer or anyone that I fully trust thanks to my overwhelming paranoia, anxiety to the point that I feel physically sick as If someone is suffocating me. I will not go in full detail with my everyday life as that is for another post or even comment.

Here are his/her reasons:

-According to the assessor, I supposedly reported that I can travel independently to places that I have been and that I am able to use public transport on my own

My rebuttal: That is bullshit because I never reported such a thing. I told them that I need someone with me such as my carer or someone that I trust during my journeys and that the reason I hate going out is because I feel as If people are looking at me and talking behind my back. I also have panic attacks as I previously mentioned.

His/her report: I was able to participate through the assessment without being prompted by my carer and that I did not lean on my carer for support and reassurance.

My rebuttal: Every time my carer tried to talk to them or prompt me, they told my carer to 'shhhh' also I always looked at my carer for help and support but the assessor said that I only looked at him a few times.

His/her report: I currently manage on low dose first line antidepressant/anxiety.

My rebuttal: I rarely take my meds for the following two reasons: I need prompting to take my sleeping pills at the Right times or otherwise I end up taking them at about 12 or 1 in the morning. I don't like taking my 20mg antidepressants because either they don't work or they make me feel worse so obviously I am not coping well. Also, I am in a worse state, I will end up taking another pill.

His/her report: As evidenced by your medical letter, you don't have any learning difficulties.

My rebuttal: Oh really? So moderate learning difficulties and ADHD are not learning difficulties? Even the letter mentioned my diagnosis. However, despite saying that I don't have learning difficulties, she did mention the letter saying that I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression.

His/her report: I looked well nourished and clean.

My rebuttal: I clearly told them that the night before my assessment, my carer prompted me as he/she always does to have a shower because I don't like having showers when I am in a depressed state which causes me to lack motivation, I prefer to hide away in my room when I am in a dark place.

His/her report: They have decided that I can organise and follow the route of a journey unaided.

My rebuttal: Oh is that why the last that I attempted a journey (I was with a 'friend' but he left me stranded) I got lost and in a state of panic I had to phone someone to collect me. I can't plan my own journeys because I can't remember that much information about such a plan.

His/her report: I supposedly coped well with adequate rapport and eye contact.

My rebuttal: All through the visit I felt uncomfortable to the point that I wanted it over and done with. (My carer later told me that he/she also didn't like the assessor). Also my eyes were either on the ground or at my carer. I only looked at the carer a few times to answer a question.

Me and my carer both had a bad feeling about the assessor and during the times that I talked about my mental health she seemed downplay it such as the time as I tried telling them about my paranoia, she just said 'well everyone gets paranoid don't they'.

She did ask if I ever attempted to kill my self and I said no. However, I failed to mention that I self harm when I am in a stressful dark place to try and get rid of the pathetic feeling and pain but the reason I never mentioned it is because no one including my carer knows and the reason is because I am deeply ashamed.

They also mentioned in the report that my concentration, intelligence and memory is adequate just because I passed a few tests such as the serial seven and three stage command. During those tests, I struggled with mathematic subtractions but the tests such as folding a paper in half, spelling Earth (or whatever the word was) backwards, remember three items on a table such as a pencil, crayon (and I think a ruler or staple) were tasks that a 7 year old could do.

They also mentioned the Stranger Danger scenario as If I am mentally challenged (sorry to those If I was politically incorrect) I mean what the hell has that got to do with my issues such as Depression and anxiety? I also can't cook unaided because I don't know how long to heat food or when that dish is ready also the last time that I attempted to cook meal, I ended up very sick but according to the report, I can cook unaided.

The fact that I have my own bank account went against me despite the fact that it was my school and my carer who helped create it and apparently I use my card unaided despite telling them that my carer uses it for me.

This letter has caused me a great deal of stress especially when I have a letter from NHS saying that I need to pay £100 for medication and a invalid claim that I never even made. According to my carer who collects my meds because I am asleep thanks to my tabs, the woman behind the counter was the one who ticked the paper and never even showed my carer the paper. I feel trapped.